Spintime For Little Hitlers And Democracy

Take your seats for the greatest sham on earth. The Queen's Speech and Greengate. Democracy and a police state. The government is taking us for a spin today and it could be a bumpy ride. What will Her Maj think of it all? 

First up the Queen's Speech - poor woman having to read out all that crap. Even the BBC have been reporting this as "Brown's Queen's Speech". 

And what a sad little speech it is. Out go the 18 bills so trumpeted by the prime minister in the spring as he desperately tried to cling onto power. In come a dozen or so bills, mostly nondescript, most just regurgitated and spun around, after all the troublesome ones mysteriously disappeared in a puff of smoke and mirrors. 

The BBC (bless) has been billing the Speech as a focus on crime and something called 'fairness'. Well there's always a little police bill in a Queen's Speech somewhere. And fairness? One would have thought the government would have got its act together over fairness, or have they just been practising for the last ten years? 

Mandy's pawprints are all over this. All dutifully leaked to the BBC this morning. All carefully choreographed. All to centre on the economy. What else but the economy? It's the only straw left for Brown to grasp. No doubt something will have been cobbled together to grab the headlines. All deliberately positioned for electioneering as the Orange Party has so often pointed out before. 

And that leak. The mole-hunters have crawled out of the woodwork with the acting chief of the Met saying ministers knew nothing about the arrest. Anyone would think he was after a job. 

Meanwhile is it a showdown or climbdown in the commons? The Orange Party was putting its money on a government climbdown and no showdown but that was before Mandy spun round again, accusing the Tories of every dastardly deed under the sun. 

The hint of a government climbdown was well-rooted in spin. After all, minister didn't want to be knocked off course at the start of the Queen's Speech debate, with former shadow home secretary turned civil rights campaigner, David Davis, the leading the fray, over Green's heavy-handed treatment.

Leader of the House, Harriet Harman looked to be brokering some kind of deal. She's a civil right lawyer with a lot of past experience in fighting the home office. And Mr Speaker keeps putting his hands up - it wasn't me, guv - it was that woman in tights - the new Serjeant-at-Arms, Jill Pay, who let the heavy mob into Parliament. How it will play out this afternoon is anyone's guess. 

The Tories and LibDems should go for broke and screw these little Hitlers once and for all, demanding the head of the home secretary, or at least get her arrested for wasting police time. 

Any successful motion of no confidence in Mr Speaker could bring down the government and bring forward that general election that everyone has been playing in the phoney war. 

But that would make the Queen's Speech rather pointless, leave Her Majesty speechless and certainly not amused. 

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Police Must Not Whitewash Greengate

Shamed government supporters are hoping the police's own investigation into the Met's handling of Greengate will put a lid on the heavy-handed outrage, as the embattled Force makes a desperate attempt to wriggle out of its share of the blame. 

A police investigation is welcome as long it is quick and to the point but here the police are investigating themselves when at the centre are issues of public interest, the sanctity of parliament and the role of the police as agents of the state. 

Those are political not police matters. Opposition parties have united in outrage and condemnation. The whole affair requires a high-level independent inquiry.  

British Transport Police chief constable, Ian Johnston, a former police chief at the Met and top officer at ACPO, will report back to the Met within two weeks. Only a referral to the PCA would remove any hint of a whitewash. 

But the police conduct in this disturbing affair was only one part of the picture. The anti-terrorism squad arrested the senior opposition MP Damian Green over home office leaks and held him for nine hours searching his home and office in the House of Commons.

Any police inquiry cannot answer fundamental issues at the heart of this scandal. Why were the heavy mob used for the arrest when clearly this did not involve any state secrets? Who authorised the police search in the sacrosanct precincts of the Place of Westminster? And, as the Orange Party asked earlier, what did ministers know and when did they know? 

Former shadow home office spokesman David Davis has, however, made a valid point over the police inquiry: "He can look at how disproportionate this was, how heavy handed it was. He can certainly look very hard at how the protection of parliament was trampled over in this investigation."

Only the leader of the House, Harriet Harman, has come close to expressing any sense of 'concern' as she tries to dig the government out of its hole. 

But then she has the experience of sitting on the other side of the fence.  As legal officer for the National Council for Civil Liberties (now Liberty), she was found in contempt of court in the landmark House of Lords civil liberties case Home Office v. Harman 1983 A.C. 280, 308, still cited as an important legal precedent to this day.

With both the prime minister and his hapless home secretary still in denial, a police investigation by police into the police must not now allow government ministers to once again hide behind a police inquiry and make little or no comment while that inquiry is taking place.

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A Rough Guide To H'Price And Howden

Some politicians and the media are trying to drum up interest in today's Haltemprice and Howden by-election. A rough guide to the constituency wouldn't go amiss. Here's one prepared earlier.

Haltemprice and Howden can be shortened to 'Hal&How' if you want it to fit a short headline, or just 'H&H' if you want to bury it. 

It's up 'north, in a place that used to be called Yorkshire. It's made up of two quite separate parts. There's a clue in the name of the constituency. 

Haltemprice doesn't exist. It's just lots of houses pretending to be villages, full of people who are relieved to have escaped the hell-hole of nearby Hull, home to fish and chips, heroin and John Prescott. It can be safely described as the 'leafy suburbs'.

Howden is a sleepy market town surrounded by lots of fields. It can be safely described as 'a sleepy market town'.

People in 'the sleepy market town' of Howden are Yorkshire volke. They can be safely described as 'down to earth', 'blunt speaking', with no time for 'them southerners, who come up here with their fancy talk'. 

People in the 'leafy suburbs' of Haltemprice don't like to be reminded that they originally came from Hull, home to fish and chips, heroin and John Prescott. 

Places to eat and drink:

Entries in Good Food Guide: No listings

Entries in Hotel Guide: No listings

Entries in Good Pub Guide: A couple but they may have already closed down

Entries in Estate Agents windows for 'pubs for sale': Quite a lot

Entries in Good Beer Guide: Anywhere left that sells Theakston's, Black Sheep or Sam Smiths

Getting there: 

By car: North up the M1 and turn right before the motorway runs out at Leeds

By rail: Overnight sleeper from London to Fort William. Then who knows?

By air and sea: London to Amsterdam. Then ferry from Zebrugge to Hull

By private helicopter: London to your pal's estate in Yorkshire

By London newsdesk, TV studio: Google Maps

Places to visit:

The Scottish Highlands, the English Lakes, the Cotswolds, Amsterdam

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Benn Delivers A Masterclass in Politics

Tony Benn's article in today's Daily Telegraph, supporting David Davis's stand on civil liberties, is a masterclass in political thought. In one fell swoop, this senior Labour parliamentarian manages to show how you can transcend social class and party politics for the rights of the individual in an oppressive state. 

Benn's views, on the erosion of civil liberties and the undemocratic EU Treaty/Constitution, will strike a chord with many on the left and right of politics. 

Benn concludes: "I believe that Mr Davis's stand may do something to restore public confidence in politics and politicians."

You may not agree with all his views, but this is the refreshing voice of a highly regarded and respected real politician, not the empty shallow NewLabourSpeak we have had to put up with for the last ten years.

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Burnham's Got Too Big For His Boots

Liberty director, Shami Chakrabarti, is threatening to sue cabinet minister, Andy Burnham, who she says "set out to smear" her  and former Conservative MP, David Davis. Writing in the New Labour 'magazine', Progress, Burnham, said he found it "very curious in the man who was, and still is I believe, an exponent of capital punishment, having late-night, hand-wringing, heart-melting phone calls with Shami Chakrabarti."

The innuendo, said Chakrabarti, was perfectly clear.

Too right it was! This New Labour cabinet minister deserves all he gets. What a plonker! 

Who does he think he is? A stringer for a student rag? A blogger on an ego-trip? No, he's a government minister for goodness sake. 

A spokesman for Burnham is reported as saying he had not meant any offence. But that's not the point. 

Davis is a senior Conservative, a former shadow home secretary and a Conservative candidate in a by-election. Chakrabarti is the darling of the liberal left and a human rights activist. Doesn't the fool realise that she knows a thing or two about civil law. 

And what about the plonkers over at Progress? 

This is a published magazine. Does it have an editor and a sub? Didn't they hear even a little alarm bell? Couldn't they see a libel action staring them in the face? This was not even innocent innuendo. This is a serious allegation. A slur on the private lives of two public people. 

Hasn't anyone heard of 'running it past the lawyers just to be on the safe side'?

Hasn't anyone had to wait for ages while the duty lawyer goes through the copy line by line, weighing up the risks of publishing against the cost of any libel action? 

Are they journalists or just a bunch of New Labour kids playing at magazines and politics?

Here's some free advice for Chakrabarti. Take Burnham to the cleaners by all means but you should also go after the magazine owners and editors. It was they, not Burnham, who published the article. 

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PMQs: TV Highlight Of The Week

It's that time of the week again when Headcases meets Big Brother in 'da House. Prime Minister's Questions (PMQs) are a great chance for MPs to say, 'Look mum, I'm on the telly'. 

But the TV schedulers should find a better slot for it. It's hard work finding it on normal TV. 

It should be broadcast on the mainstream TV channels. After all, it only lasts for 10 minutes or so but it would need a good commentary. Harry Hill would be perfect. 

And it would be a great chance to let off steam at lunchtime. A chance to shout at the telly. A great lunchtime stress-buster.

Today's TV highlights? 

Will David Davis be allowed to speak this time and what will he say? If he does, will it be from the front bench, back bench or the corridor?

How long before Brown's clunking claw comes crashing down on the table? How long before he starts st-st-st-stammering? 

How clean and well scrubbed-up is Cameron looking today? And how small is Clegg getting? It may be the position of the fixed overhead TV cameras but he could still do with a little box to stand on. 

And there's always the chance to play politics. Who's placed next to Brown on the front bench and who is perched perilously on the edge? And who the hell are they?

But if you are still bored, there's 'Spot The Deliberately Scripted Soundbite' and which will make it on the evening TV news.

And then there's the 'plants'. Those New Labour cronies deliberately placed to ask self-congratulatory questions about tractor production figures. Last week someone even asked a planted question about bone-marrow transplants. A plant about transplants. Priceless. 

Mr Speaker is in a working class of his own. The plants are also used by the Speaker to defuse a heated debate, with New Labour even resorting to using women, yes women, so there's no flak from the courteous opposition. 

And there's the government's other device, the cries of 'Order' from the Speaker. It even floored the accomplished TV star Michael Howard last week and hindered his delivery of what was probably the best speech of the day.

But to really take-off, it all needs a snappier title - 'Stars In Their Eyes'? And for a House of Lords version, 'The Price Is Right'.

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Did Davis Jump Or Was He Pushed?

David Davis' decision to quit as a Conservative MP and force a by-election in his Haltemprice and Howden constituency should come as no surprise. Davis may have been a senior member of the shadow cabinet, but he was never part of the Conservative political elite. He was just too working class to be part of Cameron's Political Class.

Did he jump or was he pushed? Is he just fighting for his principles or was it time for a change at the top?

The Conservative leadership campaign between Cameron and Davis focused on what kind of person should lead the Conservative Party. Cameron won hands down. Davis even asked at the time whether the Party wanted him or an 'heir to Blair'. Cameron's presentation skills won the day.

In the early days, he was used as the Cameron attack-dog. Just like Prescott was used by New Labour, Davis is working class and the perfect balance for Cameron's New Conservatives. 

He was used to help Cameron become 'electable' - part of the 'all things to all people' strategy. Davis was tough on crime - but Cameron showed the caring side. The device was used so effectively by Blair, all by himself.

Cameron's Conservatives are now clearly 'electable'. Now though it's time for Cameron to get 'elected' and he wants to move on. Different times require different people. 

Davis had been quiet recently. At one time he was popping up all over the place with a 'hard-line' approach. Recently he's been reduced to end quotes in newspapers. 

You could feel during PMQ's on Wednesday that Cameron's heart wasn't really in the 42 day detention debate and there's a sense that Cameron might be wavering on this issue. Conservatives 'soft on terror' is hardly a vote winner. Davis on the other hand was firmly against the bill and its attack on civil liberties. 

Davis says he will fight the by-election on the 42 day detention issue of civil liberties and that is a noble cause. But what happens if no-one stands against him? All a bit pointless really.

The timing of this announcement should have been a gift for the canny Brown and his New Labour strategists.  But no-one is listening to them and nobody cares. 

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