Carry On Up The Workers

Rail workers have slid off the tracks signalling a strike giving Tories something to Crow about. Going off the rails trying to pull the alarm cord while rubbing their hands with glee. Bunkered Brown better beware. Look out there's a monster coming: 'From the caverns of the deep ... it strikes'.

A strike at BA whipped up by Whelan’s divided Unite, now a strike by New Labour's sworn enemies in the RMT. It's getting rather hot in the bunker and all a bit dicy as election day looms.

"The timing of RMT's reckless and damaging strike - to coincide with an election campaign - is yet more proof that the unions are trying to capitalise on Brown's weak government," said a gob-smacked, gloating Tory spokesperson. Yup. Got it in one.

Tory faux outrage is hardly surprising. 1970s and all that. Network Rail and the Tories have told the RMT to "stop trying to hold the country to ransom" with transport Tory, Theresa 'Green' Villiers, accusing Bob 'Batty' Crow of "trying to drag us back to the 70s and the dying days of the last Labour government."

Ruthless fat cat rail bosses and a sham of a 'Labour' government screwing downtrodden rail workers forced to eek out a meagre living chewing gravel and sucking coal? Not quite the steam age. But all water off a duck's back to the RMT, fighting against job cuts and fighting for rail safety.

No charges of a Unite-style union bankrolling New Labour can be levelled at the RMT - who pulled the plug on party funding, turning their back on Bad Brown and New Labour stooges a long while ago.

And Bouncy Brown is set to lose any commons spring in his step. Out of the 150 or so MPs who have signed an Early Day Motion opposing Network Rail's planned cuts and calling on the government to intervene, a whopping 123 are from the Red benches.

All a far cry from the 'last ditch talks' between BA and the united wing of Unite over the planned cabin crew strikes which, at the time of writing, have collapsed. But still time for Flash Gordon to step in, save day, save the world, save the world's once favourite airline and save his skin, with a contrived strike whipped up by Unite cronies.

“Nobody should be under any illusions about just how determined RMT members are to win our fight against Network Rail’s cuts programme and to stop this reckless gamble with rail safety," crowed Battling Bob.

All reminiscent of miners squaring up to fight hatchet Thatcher's plans to kill unions, miners and the UK coal mining industry stone dead. Mine, rail and steel workers put up a united front before being beaten into submission, leaving the ghost of trade unions behind to be duped by Blair charm.

Now there's only the rag, tag and bobtail Rail, Maritime and Transport union (RMT) left out of a once proud trade union movement who are not at the beck and call of New Labour.

"Strike away, bring this lame excuse for a Labour government to its knees and bring it crashing down round its ears," says militant Dave 'Left-behind' Spart. Then strike a dodgy deal with Call Me Dave.

At least the RMT knows where it stands with the Tories. Up the workers. What a carry on.

UPDATE 5.28pm: RMT and Network Rail have agreed to pop along to Acas for a cosy chat. Unite and BA are still buggering around. Brown is stepping into the breech. Quelle surprise.

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Dave's Sun v Brown's BBC

The saintly Sun is sticking the knife into dear old Auntie banging on about Tory bias at the BBC. Bear shit found in woods. Sour grapes found in Brown sauce.

A fag-end government hijacking a state broadcaster as an electioneering tool for political propaganda? Whatever next.

The Sun proudly proclaims its investigation has unearthed "an alarming BBC bias against the Tories in the run up to the Election."

The Orange Party has lost count the number of times a blatant biased BBC has been wearily highlighted, tearing out what little hair is left. But cannot help feeling there's a little bit of Sun bias and sour grapes creeping in.

Murdoch's Sun is no pals of the BBC, rounding on the corporation for using its whopping licence-funded resources to stick the commercial knife into the Murdoch empire.

And until recently, Wobbling Dave just wasn't cutting the mustard with a newspaper which has put its neck on the line to beat the drum for Dave. Lurking in the background are those nasty Tories bent on cutting the corporation down to size.

Claims of BBC bias are as old as the ridiculous way the public is forced to cough up for watching telly. But the Orange Party would suggest it's not anti-Tory bias per se. More likely compliant BBC bullshit.

More the way New Labour spinners have managed to capture and control the state broadcaster for political advantage. And more the way an urban liberal politically correct elite is forcing the world to look through cosy rose-tinted BBC glasses.

Nevertheless, the Sun makes great play citing examples of BBC 'anti-Tory bias' with "Covert smears on David Cameron's Conservatives ... made right across the state-owned network."

News coverage, chat shows and even kids' TV are as guilty as sin in the eyes of the saintly Sun. Even the Basil Brush Show featured a school election with a cheat called Dave wearing a blue rosette.

Whatever next? Reds under the bed? A McCarthy witch hunt?

Foxy Basil Brush dressed up as Tory toff Dave in a mock election is kinda political satire in a child-like way. Anyway who wouldn't vote for cute baby-faced Basil?

Stuffing chat shows and 'question time' panels with shed loads of New Labour stooges has as much to do with TV wannabes trying to get in on the political act and their faces on the telly.

A distinction too should be made between the corporation's general programming, with its management and trust overseers, and BBC News. In the BBC world, never the twain shall meet.

Much more insidious is the way Downing Street spinners have managed to capture BBC broadcast and on-line News to set the political agenda and capture the narrative. And the way Toenails Robinson has been allowed to bang on about bloody Ashcroft day after day after day.

The difference between BBC News and ITV News is stark and shocking with ITV's political editor, Tom Bradby, refreshingly realistic. Channel 4 News? The biased heart's in the right place. Bless.

The days of Auntie knows best are numbered. The BBC needs to be put back in its box. The public is forced to fund a state broadcaster which kowtows to the government. A commercial corporation with fingers in so many pies. All a far cry from the original public service broadcasting remit.

Faced with a fiery Sun, the usual BBC spokesperson was trotted out: "The notion that the BBC is biased is palpably not true. Our news coverage scrutinises all parties with rigour and impartiality."

But one person's 'bias' is another person's 'balance' and depends on which side of the political fence you sit on. And 'news scrutiny' for 'impartiality' is pretty meaningless if a story has been pushed to the top of the news bulletin to suit a political purpose in the first place.

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When Will Bottling Brown Call It A Day?

The election date jigsaw puzzle is falling into place with Hattie finally telling MPs when they can take their Easter hols. Spinners are stretching out Brown sauce propaganda but clues are a tad more easy to find.

The date when Bottling Brown finally makes that call to Her Maj is being kept well under wraps. Too many clues would give the game away and give away the advantage. Spin it out until the bitter end.

Now with a very short Easter recess fixed, election flavour of the month May 6, just 28 days before the deadline set by law, is odds on favourite. But the Orange Party has been shouting from the rooftops - it's the date Bottling Brown names the day which is crucial.

Clues were hard to find. A cunning plan to dither around with budget day and keep under wraps when MPs would break for Easter added to the uncertainty.

Faced with an increasingly jittery money market, Borrowing Brown took his time but was finally forced to announce the date for the fag-end government's fake budget on March 24.

Now the cat and mouse game over the Easter hols has ended, as Harman announced in parliament that MPs will break for Easter on Tuesday March 30, returning on Tuesday April 6.

Weeks later, at the stroke of midnight on Monday May 10, the Westminster Cinderella coach would turn into a pumpkin and parliament would cease to exist anyway.

And a general election to elect the new Parliament "must be held by no later than Thursday 3 June 2010."

Calling the election hard after budget day, a week before the hols, makes sense. Time for then ex-MPs to get down and dirty in the constituencies. But only makes sense if you are sensible, not a crafty cunning prime minister.

Returning on April 6 to hear the election call, only to be booted out of Westminster a couple of days later is kinda cock-eyed. But hey, there's an election to be fought and spun.

The March 24 budget fires the election starting gun as the fag-end government tries to weathering the storm with storm clouds ahead. The Orange Party's gut feeling is to try to cling on as long as possible to make the most of Brown propaganda despite being caught out lying through his teeth, Nixon-like, over defence cuts.

The bogeyman of crucial GDP growth figures out for Q1 on St George's Day, April 23 can be spun as "good news" with another rigged recovery. An election on April 22 only makes sense if those figures were bad. Today Brown BBC/ONS borrowing spin started to fan the flames of that false optimism with fiddled GDP figures.

As soon as Bottling Brown makes that call, after a couple of days wash and brush up, the party will be over at Westminster.

BBC's Robinson - still at it today banging on about Ashcroft - will have his toenails clipped. Brown becomes mere mortal — an unelected prime minister, not even an MP. And woe betide anyone who tries it on with a bit of party political spinning on the side.

Spin it out. Keep the formal election campaign short and snappy. All part of the pre-election plan to capture, control and dominate the media narrative at the taxpayer's expense.

The true cost of New Labour's crafty plan to splurge with party political propaganda dressed up as public information has long been a bugbear of the Orange Party.

As Fraser Nelson notes in the Spectator, "Gordon Brown has been shameless in using the tools of state to advance his party political objectives — to him, government is electoral war by other means."

Tracking down the figures, Nelson shows the extent of the splurge. State advertising was £13 million in December - yet surged to £34 million last month.

Unleashing "the biggest propaganda spend in British history with a mass propaganda splurge to rig the election" is all part of the cunning plan.

But all good things must come to an end. Goodman writing on ConservativeHome puts it rather well. The choice, he says, will be between "Authenticity and Artificiality".

Name the day on April 6. Wash-up. Parliament dissolved. Election day May 6. Election weary voters will finally have a chance to decide which side they are on. Unless Bumbling Brown decides to pull an early one. Or Bottling Brown goes to the wire.........

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Telegraph Stung By Stinger

The Telegraph has come out with a morning mope, lashing out with a front page splash about a couple of nobodies up to the usual dirty tricks in the wacky world of politics. Dog bites man? That's life. But man bites the dog? Shock horror - hold the front page.

The Orange Party usually cannot be arsed with political parish pump stuff. But today's front page offering from the Telegraph is a strange, wacky little number, to say the least.

That's Life

It seems someone is standing as a candidate against someone else in the general election. Hold the front page.

Jock Shock

But that someone is a DJ 'friend' of Tory MP, 'Blogger' Dorries, who the Torygraph had in their cross-hairs over expenses. Up against old time TV presenter, Esther 'Rancid' Rantzen.

Shlock Horror

"Tory MP embroiled in the expenses scandal in plot to stop Esther Rantzen," screams the Labourgraph. C'mon. Try again.

Rocky Horror

"A Conservative MP embroiled in the expenses scandal has been linked to a bizarre plot by a close male friend to stop Esther Rantzen being elected to Parliament." It's still hell in the jungle. Get me out of here.

Hurry Up I'm Getting Bored

The Telegraph reports the 'friend' conned his way into the newspaper's good books posing as a whistle-blower purportedly offering damaging information on the MP. Getting better.

Sting Sting

Secretly recording the whole thing as the deal was struck, according to the Telegraph, he then hot-footed it back to the MP's lawyers to spill the beans, claiming to have proof that the newspaper had hidden “motives” for investigating the MP, and treating her unfairly. Allegedly.

Hacked Off

Double dirty tricks or what. No wonder Telegraph hacks are miffed. Stung by a stinger. Ouch.

Quotes Corner

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned/Nor hell a fury like a newspaper scorned.

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Porkie Brown Lied Over Defence Cuts

Porkie Brown has been forced to admit lying to Chilcot, parliament and the public over defence spending. Brown sauce spin has come to a sticky end, caught out over defence cuts.

A stunned commons watched with disbelief. Faced with a question from a backbench Tory MP over defence spending, the usual mixture of fudge, denials and useless reams of tractor stats were the order of the day.

Instead a humiliated Brown, chancellor during the Iraq war, was forced to admit spending "did not rise in real terms in one or two years".

"PM admits defence spending error" is Brown's BBC way of putting it. Getting caught out lying though his teeth is another.

To cries of liar, liar, pants on fire, Brown had the bare-faced cheek to tell pals at Chilcot's whitewash the defence budget was "rising in real terms every year", denying starving UK armed forces of equipment.

“The only time the defence budget has been cut was in the 10 years before 1997″, Brown even told a disbelieving commons, faced with questions from Cameron only the other week.

But the truth was out. Figures lodged in the commons library told a different story. The budget had in fact been cut in four years. Brown had lost his wiggle room. Now forced to admit he misled the House and Chilcot over defence spending.

Credit should go to Channel 4 News' Cathy Newman who poured over unearthed new figures after prising out the truth in an FoI request.

Newman reached the cold conclusion: "FactCheck has established that Gordon Brown’s central claim that the defence budget has gone up every year is fiction."

Even the Tory leader was in a state of shock, saying it was the first time in three years he had heard Brown "make a correction or a retraction".

With a masterstroke of spin, Brown had managed to duck the election bogeyman of a Chilcot grilling over starving forces of funds. Insisting that there had been no defence cuts flew in the face of contrary evidence from practically everyone expect his band of New Labour cronies.

Coming under fire from former armed forces chiefs, his own ex-defence secretary, Hoon, and his top MoD official at the time, Tebbit, who told how Brown "guillotined" military spending six months after the invasion.

Even a coroner's verdict and damning public slating of the funding shortfalls came just days after Porkie Brown insisted 'troops had all the equipment they needed'.

Hand-picked Chilcot placemen, working to a tight Downing Street remit with plenty of wiggle room had allowed Brown to get away with murder, despite the massed weight of evidence against him.

Misleading parliament and the public. Telling big Brown lies to Chilcot. The least that should happen is for Porkie Brown to be forced to make a return trip to Chilcot or face commons censure.

But fresh calls for Brown to come clean and face the music will fall on deaf ears, with Chilcot and parliament set to enter purdah this side of the election.

What is left is the disgrace of a discredited prime minister. A dab hand at ducking responsibility. Now no longer allowed to get away droning on with endless denials to fudge the facts in the dying days of his fag-end government.

UPDATE 10.50pm: Cameron says Brown "misled" the Chilcot inquiry and parliament. Political code for lying. After burying the story down bulletin on its 6pm TV News, the BBC finally led with it at 10pm.

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Newspapers Splash On Failure, Fudge And Spin

A day of scoops on the Street of Shame sees newspapers doing their own thing, making a splash today with an unusually mixed bag, which refuses to kowtow to the stale spun narratives of a well-oiled Downing Steet machine.

The Tories new best friend, the Sun, makes a splash on the running story, calling for a ban on the legal drug mephedrone, after the deaths of two teenagers.

Banning legal highs? Whatever next. Johnson sacked the much-maligned "Nutty Professor" for daring to do his job and speak his mind at the drugs advisory council. Is he going to pussyfoot around on Meow Meow? But the Telegraph too tries it on to give Tories a chance to pile on the pressure.

Blood splattered walls and filthy ambulances are splattered across the Guardian with an exclusive on research suggesting a quarter of NHS trusts failed the hygiene test. But there's room for the Guardian to put the boot in to Broon's paymasters, with Downing Street forced to step in to stop Unite parachuting pals into 'safe' Labour seats.

The Times rounds on Mandy in a circular way. After delivering his early Christmas present 'cuts' to universities, competition for places is now fiercer than ever. Blowing out of the water New Labour's crafty plan to bring in backdoor cutbacks while pretending everything's hunky dory.

City fat cats have been handed a sweetener from Banking Brown, shelving new EU regulations for hedge fund and private equity bosses until after the election, according to the Financial Times.

But the Orange Party gives today's star prize to The Independent, with a scoop accusing ministers of blocking embarrassing youth crime figures until after the election because they've something to hide. Even fiddled crime figures are becoming too hot to handle.

The weird world when political reality gives way to political correctness is attacked over at the Mail highlighting the shocking case of the fatal blunder when foreign doctors are used to cover NHS staff shortages.

An inquest into the death of a pensioner after a hip operation was described by an expert as "the worst negligence case he had seen". Pseudo-liberals living in La-La Land gets kinda galling when people are killed as a result.

Only the sad, tired old Mirror delivers a cop out, keeping out of political harm's way. With no drum to bang for New Labour, it's a Winslet "blazing row" with hubby Mendes. Too lazy to get even a "titanic row" in the headline. Bless.

It's beginning to feel like the old days when Tories could sit back and watch New Labour's decade of deceit, lies, failure and disaster come back to haunt them and explode in their face.

Only now there's fire in the belly of the Tories, an election to be fought and won and attack lines to deliver, with the Telegraph finally warming to Honest Osborne, reporting the "election supremo" is firing up the Party.

Meanwhile the once well-oiled, war-hardened Downing Street spin machine is left reeling and lurching from one disaster and failure to another. How cool is that.

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Growth 'Dark Matter' Found In Brown Universe

EU commission chiefs have told the government to stop pouring Brown sauce over the dire economy with a crafty 'growth' con to cut the whopping budget deficit. Kinda screws up cunning plans to conjure up a budget election manifesto sham to screw the Tories and screw the economy.

Borrowing Brown has been told to get his house in order and clean up his economic mess while there's a house left standing, or face repossession and face the scrapheap with basket-case Greece.

Delivering a devastating blow to the government and its handling of the economy, a leaked European Commission report has blasted Borrowing Brown's irresponsible plans for reducing the budget deficit as "not ambitious enough".

But chief secretary to the treasury, Byrne, said the report was, er, "wrong". What part of "get on with it and stop fannying around" doesn't he understand?

The Orange Party has got heartily fed up with all the Brown sauce porkies over the economic mess. "Curb your spending, Brussels tells Brown", bellows The Times - and curb your enthusiasm for pork pie politics.

EU rules sensibly say government deficits must be below 3% of GDP. The UK's debt is expected to hit £178 billion - a deficit of 12.6% of GDP - this year. And that's apart from the £200 billion of funny money swilling around.

Ministers insist on churning out the line they will "halve the deficit in four years". Halve the deficit note, not the crippling borrow and spend debt burden.

But lurking in the undergrowth, treasury economic models are based on a mysterious 'growth' - the dodgy 'Dark Matter'* of the economic world, used to mean all things to all economists and politicians.

Brussels reckons Borrowing Brown's flight of fancy may be missed because 'growth' could be lower than forecast.

Factored into all treasury forecasts is a dodgy dark matter of 'growth'. No wonder there is so much spin over a green shoots sham and the politics of optimism. Without that elusive 'growth', the Brown economy would collapse round his ears like a pack of cards.

A forecast of 2% growth in 2010-11, and then 3.3% growth for the next four years is a tad optimistic to say the least. What happens if the economy doesn't perform as spun?

Dreadful Darling's last throw of the election dice with a meaningless budget manifesto, is all part of the deceitful plan. Screwing opposition parties and screwing the country. Craftily focussing on the sham of a 'growth' deficit but not getting to grips with Borrowing Brown's debt.

But it really doesn't matter if they are wrong or right. They won't be around to find out - or take the rap.

*Dark Matter is a funny little fictional fellow made up by big-brained scientists to fit into their equations and make their mind-numbing models of the universe work like clockwork.

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