Dave's Sun v Brown's BBC

The saintly Sun is sticking the knife into dear old Auntie banging on about Tory bias at the BBC. Bear shit found in woods. Sour grapes found in Brown sauce.

A fag-end government hijacking a state broadcaster as an electioneering tool for political propaganda? Whatever next.

The Sun proudly proclaims its investigation has unearthed "an alarming BBC bias against the Tories in the run up to the Election."

The Orange Party has lost count the number of times a blatant biased BBC has been wearily highlighted, tearing out what little hair is left. But cannot help feeling there's a little bit of Sun bias and sour grapes creeping in.

Murdoch's Sun is no pals of the BBC, rounding on the corporation for using its whopping licence-funded resources to stick the commercial knife into the Murdoch empire.

And until recently, Wobbling Dave just wasn't cutting the mustard with a newspaper which has put its neck on the line to beat the drum for Dave. Lurking in the background are those nasty Tories bent on cutting the corporation down to size.

Claims of BBC bias are as old as the ridiculous way the public is forced to cough up for watching telly. But the Orange Party would suggest it's not anti-Tory bias per se. More likely compliant BBC bullshit.

More the way New Labour spinners have managed to capture and control the state broadcaster for political advantage. And more the way an urban liberal politically correct elite is forcing the world to look through cosy rose-tinted BBC glasses.

Nevertheless, the Sun makes great play citing examples of BBC 'anti-Tory bias' with "Covert smears on David Cameron's Conservatives ... made right across the state-owned network."

News coverage, chat shows and even kids' TV are as guilty as sin in the eyes of the saintly Sun. Even the Basil Brush Show featured a school election with a cheat called Dave wearing a blue rosette.

Whatever next? Reds under the bed? A McCarthy witch hunt?

Foxy Basil Brush dressed up as Tory toff Dave in a mock election is kinda political satire in a child-like way. Anyway who wouldn't vote for cute baby-faced Basil?

Stuffing chat shows and 'question time' panels with shed loads of New Labour stooges has as much to do with TV wannabes trying to get in on the political act and their faces on the telly.

A distinction too should be made between the corporation's general programming, with its management and trust overseers, and BBC News. In the BBC world, never the twain shall meet.

Much more insidious is the way Downing Street spinners have managed to capture BBC broadcast and on-line News to set the political agenda and capture the narrative. And the way Toenails Robinson has been allowed to bang on about bloody Ashcroft day after day after day.

The difference between BBC News and ITV News is stark and shocking with ITV's political editor, Tom Bradby, refreshingly realistic. Channel 4 News? The biased heart's in the right place. Bless.

The days of Auntie knows best are numbered. The BBC needs to be put back in its box. The public is forced to fund a state broadcaster which kowtows to the government. A commercial corporation with fingers in so many pies. All a far cry from the original public service broadcasting remit.

Faced with a fiery Sun, the usual BBC spokesperson was trotted out: "The notion that the BBC is biased is palpably not true. Our news coverage scrutinises all parties with rigour and impartiality."

But one person's 'bias' is another person's 'balance' and depends on which side of the political fence you sit on. And 'news scrutiny' for 'impartiality' is pretty meaningless if a story has been pushed to the top of the news bulletin to suit a political purpose in the first place.