Carry On Up The Workers

Rail workers have slid off the tracks signalling a strike giving Tories something to Crow about. Going off the rails trying to pull the alarm cord while rubbing their hands with glee. Bunkered Brown better beware. Look out there's a monster coming: 'From the caverns of the deep ... it strikes'.

A strike at BA whipped up by Whelan’s divided Unite, now a strike by New Labour's sworn enemies in the RMT. It's getting rather hot in the bunker and all a bit dicy as election day looms.

"The timing of RMT's reckless and damaging strike - to coincide with an election campaign - is yet more proof that the unions are trying to capitalise on Brown's weak government," said a gob-smacked, gloating Tory spokesperson. Yup. Got it in one.

Tory faux outrage is hardly surprising. 1970s and all that. Network Rail and the Tories have told the RMT to "stop trying to hold the country to ransom" with transport Tory, Theresa 'Green' Villiers, accusing Bob 'Batty' Crow of "trying to drag us back to the 70s and the dying days of the last Labour government."

Ruthless fat cat rail bosses and a sham of a 'Labour' government screwing downtrodden rail workers forced to eek out a meagre living chewing gravel and sucking coal? Not quite the steam age. But all water off a duck's back to the RMT, fighting against job cuts and fighting for rail safety.

No charges of a Unite-style union bankrolling New Labour can be levelled at the RMT - who pulled the plug on party funding, turning their back on Bad Brown and New Labour stooges a long while ago.

And Bouncy Brown is set to lose any commons spring in his step. Out of the 150 or so MPs who have signed an Early Day Motion opposing Network Rail's planned cuts and calling on the government to intervene, a whopping 123 are from the Red benches.

All a far cry from the 'last ditch talks' between BA and the united wing of Unite over the planned cabin crew strikes which, at the time of writing, have collapsed. But still time for Flash Gordon to step in, save day, save the world, save the world's once favourite airline and save his skin, with a contrived strike whipped up by Unite cronies.

“Nobody should be under any illusions about just how determined RMT members are to win our fight against Network Rail’s cuts programme and to stop this reckless gamble with rail safety," crowed Battling Bob.

All reminiscent of miners squaring up to fight hatchet Thatcher's plans to kill unions, miners and the UK coal mining industry stone dead. Mine, rail and steel workers put up a united front before being beaten into submission, leaving the ghost of trade unions behind to be duped by Blair charm.

Now there's only the rag, tag and bobtail Rail, Maritime and Transport union (RMT) left out of a once proud trade union movement who are not at the beck and call of New Labour.

"Strike away, bring this lame excuse for a Labour government to its knees and bring it crashing down round its ears," says militant Dave 'Left-behind' Spart. Then strike a dodgy deal with Call Me Dave.

At least the RMT knows where it stands with the Tories. Up the workers. What a carry on.

UPDATE 5.28pm: RMT and Network Rail have agreed to pop along to Acas for a cosy chat. Unite and BA are still buggering around. Brown is stepping into the breech. Quelle surprise.