The Telegraph has come out with a morning mope, lashing out with a front page splash about a couple of nobodies up to the usual dirty tricks in the wacky world of politics. Dog bites man? That's life. But man bites the dog? Shock horror - hold the front page.
The Orange Party usually cannot be arsed with political parish pump stuff. But today's front page offering from the Telegraph is a strange, wacky little number, to say the least.
It seems someone is standing as a candidate against someone else in the general election. Hold the front page.
But that someone is a DJ 'friend' of Tory MP, 'Blogger' Dorries, who the Torygraph had in their cross-hairs over expenses. Up against old time TV presenter, Esther 'Rancid' Rantzen.
"Tory MP embroiled in the expenses scandal in plot to stop Esther Rantzen," screams the Labourgraph. C'mon. Try again.
"A Conservative MP embroiled in the expenses scandal has been linked to a bizarre plot by a close male friend to stop Esther Rantzen being elected to Parliament." It's still hell in the jungle. Get me out of here.
Hurry Up I'm Getting Bored
The Telegraph reports the 'friend' conned his way into the newspaper's good books posing as a whistle-blower purportedly offering damaging information on the MP. Getting better.
Secretly recording the whole thing as the deal was struck, according to the Telegraph, he then hot-footed it back to the MP's lawyers to spill the beans, claiming to have proof that the newspaper had hidden “motives” for investigating the MP, and treating her unfairly. Allegedly.
Double dirty tricks or what. No wonder Telegraph hacks are miffed. Stung by a stinger. Ouch.
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned/Nor hell a fury like a newspaper scorned.