To The Victor The Spoils

The days of New Labour are nearly over. To the victor will go the spoils. But spinners are throwing everything at a last ditch bid to salvage something from the election wreckage.

The country is in limbo land. Failed fag-enders high hopes of clinging on to power are fading fast. The fallback endgame of the struggling Supreme Leader quitting with some shred of dignity is getting closer by the hour.

But true to form, with a country facing economic chaos, Broken Brown and his squatters are more interested in forming a self-preservation society than what is in the national interest.

Eager for a picture to paint a thousand words, the Sundays splashed on three Westminster party leaders looking in different directions, depending on their media narratives. The Orange Party's take (above) seems to sum up the prevailing wind.

Voters are still faced with outgoing Beaten Brown's look of superiority clinging on by his hard-bitten fingernails. And the odd couple of a frustrated and flummoxed prime minister-in-waiting looking to a puffed-up election loser who can't believe his luck calling the shots taking centre stage with the big boys.

Meanwhile a Little Nick toy is up for sale on eBay. "You are bidding for the affections of a Spanish-speaking manufacturer and creator of kings".

But buyers beware: "Those with less than 220 seats, contact me first before bidding. Advertised due to nation of time-wasters. Please do not bid if you cannot make up your mind."

The Orange Party left for a long lie down with the outcome on the cards. Leaving all the post election party political posturing behind immediately after Nowhere man Clegg conceded Dashing Dave must be given first crack at government.

The game of poker continued with downcast Brown reading from his Mandy/Campbell script on the steps of No 10 and snookered Cameron trying to come over all statesman-like with an olive branch to the Little Party.

Even an hour is a long time in politics. But many commentators are bogged down with the detail of the process rather than the outcome. A typical New Labour legacy which is hard to shake off. Voters are being forced to suffer the pain of process and the shame of spin.

The outcome is for Brown to bite the bullet and make way for a strong and stable government to get to grips with the economic mess. A YouGov poll for the Sunday Times makes that clear.

More than two-thirds of people want Brown out of Downing Street - now. Hanging on for Tories to strike up a deal or no deal with the LibDems is not what voters want.

The Mandy Plan for a stitched-up New Labour-LibDem deal is dead in the water. The numbers don't stack up. The last roll of the dice from the doomed party of failure is to play the "progressive alliance" card from Blairite social democrats. An anti-Tory ticket. A doomed rainbow alliance of all and sundry, set to fall apart at the drop of a hat.

Such an alliance would produce a short-lived majority but not stability. Celtic nationalists will demand a high price for any such deal. The vexed 'English Question', where a nation could be held to ransom by MPs from outside England, would raise its ugly head, something the Orange Party warned of last week.

The election result was always going to be tight. With a rigged election system stacked in New Labour's favour, the Dave Party faced a mountain to climb even with Ashcroft's marginal cash.

Persuading voters who'd deserted Tories in droves to join Phoney Blair's promised land to switch back should take two general elections. But to Dave's credit he nearly did it in one, despite sticking his head in the clouds with a nebulous 'big society'.

Back in LibDem La-La-Land, a leader who took his party to election disaster should be out on his ears. Instead Windbag Clegg is puffed up by his own self-importance. There is no political advantage in getting into bed with Beaten Brown. Even with Brown out, propping up yet another unelected prime minister will seal the fate of the joker in the pack.

So it's back to the outcome. Brown is down and out clinging on without a shred of decency. The game now for the old tuckers is to engineer a dignified exit so Brown can quit with head held high. Leaving their beloved New Labour lackeys to regroup and fight another day.

The vicious Labour Party sport of tearing itself apart has already begun. A brutal battle between Mandy's Bananaboy Miliband and the Broonites Blinky Balls with Miliband the Younger and Cruddas set to bring up the rear. The decent, clear and articulate voice of what's left of the Labour Party, aka McDonnell is pointing the way to the future. The Orange Party biased? Yup.

Spinning themselves into a hole in the ground, the old gang really should get over it. The country is heading for a Tory-led period of 'liberal conservatism'. Much to the dread of both true blue Tories and the New Labour clones dressed up as social democrat LibDems.

A government of 'caring' Conservatives with a smattering of classic Liberal civil rights and civil liberties. Cameron has been laying the groundwork with his party for years. The LibDems have yet to come to terms with reality and the new politics.

In the smoke-free rooms, Clegg would do well to remember the great Liberal thinkers of old, like 17th century Hobbs and Locke, who argued that the legitimate authority of the state must be derived from the consent of the governed.

Or to put it in 21st century tabloidspeak. Deal or No Deal, Dave will make a dash for No 10. Screw this one up cleverclogs and it's Clegg on toast.