What Will Brown Stick In His Family Album?

Downing Street aides have been rushing around like blue-arsed flies trying to spin away the president's snub to Brown's hyped-up tour. But Obama has enough on his plate without having to pose at a podium all statesman-like with a loser. 

Brown had flown all the way across the Atlantic for that big photo-op, only to be told the White House had kicked the idea into touch. 

Not surprising. He's not exactly Little Miss Sunshine. The Orange Party always though Brown's hyped-up Audacity of Hype tour would end up a damp squib. 

Brown's plane had hardly touched down at Andrews air base before it became clear any thought of a joint press conference was a no-no.

But that's a shame. After all, the Orange Party along with Downing Street were looking forward to an iconic image of the two great global leaders standing shoulder-to-shoulder with all the podium razzmatazz and flags behind them. 

Anything to replace that picture of the two of them when everything was coming up roses in the Downing Street garden. That was so last year. 

But as the US stock market crashes around Obama's ears, today  questions are being asked whether world leaders really have got a handle on this mess. Obama didn't cause the US recession but he has now taken ownership.

And that's not all on the president's mind today. The hot story in Washington is whether Obama is planning to cut a deal with Russia and backtrack over Bush's Euro-missile shield in return for a heavier Russian hand on Iran. 

These are big, real, global issues that occupy a president's mind and time. Not some Brownspeak bullshit setting out his global credentials as a global leader to save the world, this time with a new global New Deal for the global recession, before a global economic meltdown.

So the 'global deal' press conference was been demoted to what's been spun as a 'media event' but is in reality a 'pool spray'. Hack in the pack, Benedict Brogan, reckons it's a shambles.

A bunch of hand-picked hacks are shepherded into a room at the White House to ask a few planted questions and take pictures of the two men chatting away about the weather.

And they hadn't reckoned on the curse of Jonah travelling ahead of him, with Washington hit by a freak March snowstorm. 

Brown may be feeling glum but it was planned to have him photographed with his new best chum in the Rose Garden. But who wants to be photographed freezing their socks off, knee-deep in snow? 

The Brown people are pinning their hopes on a pre-election boost and presidential support for the 'new global deal' on the economy to pave the way for the Supreme Leader's next starring role at G20 London summit in April. 

So no doubt the love-bombing and brow-beating of the press pack will continue to try to get the spin right for the folks back home. 

The Orange Party has its own theory on why it's going pear-shaped and it is all down to the president's pressies. 

What do you give the man who has everything? Certainly not a pen-holder made out of old wood from an old ship and a book about that old war guy, Churchill. Coming over all Churchillian is not exactly Obama's idea of favourite bedtime reading. 

Obama is supposed to have Scottish roots so why not a bottle of finest Laphroaig malt whiskey. Or a kilt. Brown sure knows how to piss a guy off, big time. 

Meanwhile, back in the real world on both sides of the Atlantic,  real people are worried sick about unemployment, the recession and how to make ends meet. 

No-one in Washington gives a monkeys what Brown thinks. The sooner he legs it back home to call that election the better.

UPDATE 17.55: Stick it in the family - album. The media and Downing Street finally got a cold and chilly photograph - the rotten lot at the White House didn't even bother to light the fire!