A meaningless manifesto from flagging, failed New Labour is launched with a fanfare today, full of false hope to fool voters. A Blair witches brew of all style and no substance. Short on ideas and long on wind.
13 years and this is the best the Party of Failure can come up with. 100 odd pages of fudge and NewLabourspeak. 'Pledges' which have a hollow ring to them. Nothing realistic which captures the mood of voters. A manifesto which would allow New Labour to get away with anything that takes its fancy.
With relish the BBC reported: "The party will try to convince voters it has the ideas and energy for a fourth term in government." Fat chance.
A mindless exercise from a broken party with broken promises they didn't even keep from last time around. Beaten Brown's secret plan to win back voters with a rabbit pulled out of a hat turned out to be mangy old Blair rat.
Driving the campaign, unelected Lord Mandy gave the game away: “This is the next logical step from what Tony Blair oversaw ... we’re tailoring services to the individual and taking on parts of the public services that may have been failing.” And Brown, with Imperial Purple tie, has taken a leaf out of Phoney Blair's book.
A mindless mixture of all style and no substance for sheep easily duped and too scared to face up to reality, living in La-La-Land in the cosy sham New Labour bubble.
Why should anyone believe Porkie Brown's lies dressed up as promises? Why after 13 years at the top of the tree, has it taken up until now to get a grip on the real world? Where are the policies which will set the election world alight? Where's the plans to reduce Borrowing Brown's massive debt?
A weighty tomb has been produced to try to fool some of the people some of the time, harking back to the bad old Blair days with a nod to the 'future fair'.
But faced with current projections of a Tory majority, finally putting paid to yesterday news of a hyped hung parliament, there's no chance the manifesto of Blair hype from the fag-end government will see the light of day.
Still they can't get it right. Yet more of Blair's pet public service reform "driving improvements in public services". Straight out of the Blair Witch Project handbook of hype.
Blair's hospital foundation trusts? Try telling that to people of Mid Staffordshire, with policies killing patients. The root cause of failure was endless New Labour imposed targets and a Trust obsessed with slashing staff costs.
A headline grabbing pledge not to raise income tax - previously broken - flies in the face of one of New Labour's central planks, paving the way for a whole raft of VAT and stealth taxes sneaked in through the backdoor.
A pledge to make migrant workers in public sector jobs up to scratch in English, splashed in The Times, is at odds with EU rulings over the free movement of a pan-EU workforce. And begs the question why has it taken so long?
A 'Cadbury Law' to restrict takeovers of UK firms on 'public interest grounds' to protect workers thrown on the scrap heap from predatory asset-stripping foreign firms. A tad too late for those now facing the dole.
13 years in power. 13 years of squandered billions and wasted opportunities down the drain. Manufacturing on its knees, people worried sick about jobs and the cost of goods and services. Driven mad in PC world and 'broken Britain' with the mill stone of a national debt burden carried around for generations to come.
A manifesto half the size and twice as tough may have stood half a chance. But who in their right mind is going to wade through such a thick book of dreams? But that's not the point. Day one of week two in the Ladybird Book of Election Spin - try to capture and control a compliant media by pouring on the bullshit and Brown sauce.
There's probably more tucked away. But the Orange Party, like weary voters, cannot be arsed. Today marks an historic day for the Broonites and the Blairites. With parliament dissolved they are now no longer MPs. Time to count the damage inflicted by over a decade of disaster and failure.
Family-man Dave tomorrow, freshly scrubbed up with a manifesto written on more than the back of an envelope. Honesty and trust? Authenticity versus artificiality. Key battlegrounds in the election 2010 road show.
Bottom graphic: Burningourmoney