Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire

Shameless Scotland's Tongan maid has come out of hiding set to spill the beans and clean up on the scandal, leaving Bunkered Brown and his shamed law officer to clean up the mess. A sordid start to the leaving Party conference.

The Mail today splashed the big tease: Did Baroness tell the truth? Housekeeper 'denies showing Attorney General her passport'.

Cut to the quick. Tongan Tapui is close to calling the attorney general a liar, just as Brown's leaving Party conference kicks off at Brighton-on-the-Rocks.

The Orange Party has said once, nay twice - this whole charade stinks to high heaven. There's something very fishy lurking in the undergrowth.

Shamed and shameless Scotland gets off Scot free despite breaking the law hiring an illegal immigrant. And makes a complete pig's ear of it trying to wriggle out of her £5,000 fine.

Tapui goes to ground while Ms Scotland clings to her job and her ministerial aide quits in disgust, only to find the ex-housekeeper had her door smashed in by border police.

Tapui and hubby were arrested and bailed over immigration irregularities, only to pop up with kind-hearted Clifford, ready to reveal all.

The heat was on after the Mail caught out Scotland employing an illegal immigrant as housekeeper, flying in the face of the Borders Act.

Her dishonourable defence was spun as an honest mistake - she'd checked the "documents". Her 'crime' was to not to take photocopies required by the very draconian law she helped push through parliament.

But if she didn't check the "documents" or they turn out to be dodgy then she's banged to rights.

How come Scotland was cleared to continue working so quickly without anyone bothering to check Tapui's side of the story?

What did Tapui get up to when she wasn't cleaning that made her such a heavy-handed target? Hubby started life as a 'British born solicitor' now demoted to a 'Serb'. Was the UK marriage certificate a bit of a sham?

Just what is the country's top law officer playing at? Isn't there some kind of vetting for such a sensitive job and potential security risk, before hiring someone left all day to sniff around with top secret files lying around?

Bunkered Brown tried to keep a lid on the whole sordid scandal. The last thing Billy-no-mates needs is for his crony to be drummed out of office with an almighty mess back home, while he scurries around saving the world from the corner of a UN kitchen, carving out a cushy G20 job.

Hattie and her equalities police too are keen to keep Scotland in situ, banging on about women's things and putting her up as a shiny example.

In Cronyland nobody is kicked out of a job no matter what the sleaze or scandal - unless you cross the boss.

However it is played out, Scotland is toast, not just because she broke her own law but because she's been exposed as a £170,000 expenses cheat. In the public's mind, the sham of one rotten law for us and one bendy rule for the ruling elite has been confirmed.

Watching New Labour self destruct is a delicious spectator sport. When new revelations make a splash, spare a thought for the maid a-milking who'll be caught in the eye of a media storm and a dirty tricks campaign with a big bucket of whitewash.

Like so many poor souls enticed over here for a better life, it seems her only 'crime' was to travel half way around the world to end up cleaning up the crap of the political elite.

And then to find herself unwillingly at the centre of a political storm.

The public has a right to hear Tapui's side of the whole sordid saga and if she makes a few bob out of it, so much the better.

Top picture: Loloahi Tapui, husband Alexander Zivancevic and publicist Max Clifford. Mid graphic: Red Rag