Mandy's Hello Sailor Moment

It's got pretty crowded on Ivor Loadsamoneyski's luxury yacht. Everyone was there tapping him up for cash or not. Mandelson reckons it's all lies and smears, Osborne is in denial, Murdoch is on a hot line to God. It's handbags at dawn. What fun to watch the rich at play.

Murdoch's tired old Times kicked it off today aided and abetted by New Labour's sad Daily Mirror, claiming Tory toff George Osborne sucked up to rich Russian guy in the hope he'd slip him a few quid for the Party. Osborne denies everything, apart from actually being there. 

It had to happen. Mandelson had lorded it up for the last few days bleating about the lies and smears over his part in this never ending story. Being wined and dined by a rich guy is all part of Brussels business. But smoothing the way for a fat aluminium contract, Moi?

So let's get this right. Global rich kid Nathaniel Rothschild told Rupert Murdoch who then told Mandy who then rang up Blair who then told Murdoch who then got Blair to call Rothschild to fire off a letter to The Times claiming that Osborne and Tory chief executive Andrew Feldman had discussed a donation from dodgy billionaire Russian mafia guy Oleg Deripaska. What a tangled web they weave. What will our Russian friend think of us all?

Some journalists have been on to Mandy for months, others just waiting for a chance to pounce on the Tories. 

For Mandy and Osborne it was handbags at dawn. Sweet revenge for Mandleson after Osborne spilled the beans on his earlier meeting with Mandy, claiming Mandleson dripped poison about Gordon Brown. 

As pointed out by the Orange Party earlier, Mandy coming back to snuggle up to Brown was just a way of keeping him out of trouble with the EU and keeping his enemy close. 

So who's been the biggest  naughty boy in all of this?

Mandy, on the one hand, was being asked to investigate this Russian guy and with the other, smoothing the way, as EU trade commissioner, to cut aluminium import duties to secure huge aluminium contracts for his pal. 

Osborne may or may not have chatted about Party donations but no cash changed hands, nor would it. That would be illegal. If anything he's guilty of very poor judgement.

And the name of the yacht at the centre of this storm? Queen K. 

The Lord of Darkness is the master of spin. But going on the attack with counter spin only means more muck will be raked up. He must be losing his touch.