Dreams of a well-hung parliament has left lacklustre LibDem leader, 'Kingmaker' Clegg, strutting around feeling important, milking it for all it's worth, revealing Two-Faced Clegg's true colours - red and blue.
The more Wonderboy Clegg opens his mouth, the more his true colours are revealed. Take your pick - red and yellow and green and blue.
Just where is Wonderboy coming from? In the muddled, confused world of LibDems, the answer is as clear as mud. But the little Party for the little people has finally woken up, smelt the Fairtrade coffee and realised a general election is just around the corner.
Waffle-on-a-stick has more heirs than the Hairy Bikers. Clegg the heir-to-Thatcher, in The Spectator. Cutting deeper than Tories, mesmerised by Maggie and with Stormin' Norman his new best friend. Clegg in the Independent. Wannabe heir-to-Blair with 'education, education, education', screw the rich with higher taxes, all washed down with greenwash.
In the confused world of the LibDem leader, the only certainties are an obsession with the EU and the dream of a voting system which will never see the light of day.
After ruling out immediate swingeing post-election cuts, now there's a cunning plan to make a £10 billion pound 'repayment' to cut the whopping £178 billion public debt with £200 billion of funny money swirling around.
A paltry £10 billion, eh? That will sure wipe the sweat off the brows of the moneymen. Everything's hunky dory in La-La-Land. Kinda puts Cleggy at odds with Saint Vince who reckons pussyfooting around is the best economic policy.
And where will the £15 billion of spending 'cuts' come from? Voters have to wait for Windbag Clegg to run that one past the Oracle. What a tease.
Once again the clapped-out band, the Cleggies, has re-released an old single in a forlorn fight-back. This time hoping Dancing With The Fairies will top the political hit parade.
The Orange Party is in no doubt LibDems made a big mistake plumping for a telegenic Blair lookalike as leader and fully paid up member of the political class. True to form, Euroboy has turned out shallow, untrustworthy and unpopular.
Confusing and disgraceful support over the undemocratic farce of the new EU Constitution/Treaty lost him any respect. Afghanistan? Don't go there. No one listens to Euro-boy Clegg, except his fan-club in the BBC and Guardian.
The Orange Party remembers the little lad accusing Dave of being a ‘conman’ who will "promise whatever they think it takes to get elected".
How we laughed.
Conman Cameron? That's a bit rich coming from a leader who's sunk to new depths as a New Labour clone of all style, no substance and a bad haircut.
Two-Faced Clegg is clutching at straws. Kingmaker Clegg is living on Fantasy Island with a hung parliament narrative driven by fishy push polls with dodgy weightings. Could Wonderboy ever bring himself to get into bed with a 'conman' in a hung parliament or grisly has-been Porkie Brown lying through his teeth at the Chilcot whitewash?
In poll after poll, LibDems are going nowhere with Nowhere Man in charge and only themselves to blame. But it's too late for the men and women in grey sandals to come for Clumsy Clegg. The LibDems made their Cleggy bed and they'll have to sleep in it with a windbag leader.
And that's a shame because there are a few good eggs in the basket-case Party.
Mid graphic: The Spectator