Barbour Brown Is A Happy Bunny

Barbour Brown is having a field day hiding away while his enemies make silly season fools of themselves. And battered Brown didn't have to lift a nail-bitten finger. From haggard to happy, no wonder the relaxed Supreme Leader is looking so smug.

A couple of wet weeks in Windermere, wherever, was just what the spin doctor ordered. Beleaguered Brown badly needed a holiday - though the Orange Party has always suggested a very, very long one.

Last year's disastrous spot of summer modelling for the Matalan Man catalogue is just a distant memory. Now it's born again Barbour man on staycation with a trusty old waxed jacked, comfy jumpy, cuddly tum and an infuriating smug look on his face.

Sandra Parsons over at the Mail nails it in one: "What a lovely holiday Gordon Brown is having ... The picture of him ... revealed a man utterly at ease with himself and the world."

Someone has fired the starting gun for the general election campaign while the Dear Leader was squirrelled safely out of harm's way. Maybe that's all part of the plan and a sign of things to come?

But Gordon is lovin' it. Sworn enemies and sworn at rivals are dropping like flies.

What pleasure watching wannabe PM, Sister Hattie, getting up everyone's nose banging on about women's things. Right in the middle of measuring up the curtains, Hattie was quickly frog-marched out of Downing Street, to make way for unelected Malicious Mandy magically transformed into Pussycat Peter.

But getting caught out lording it up with his uber-rich pals on a sunbed in the Med, is not the way to run a country and PM was forced to promise he won't make a bid for PM. That won't stop powerful Pierre pulling the strings. Bunkered Brown still needs to watch his back.

The greatest gift was yet to come, with some fancy media Mandy footwork to plug the political gaps during the silly season.

Dunky Duncan's daft video had been gathering dust for months. Dave needed Dunky's rations whinge like a hole in the head.

But cross-patch Cameron stopped short of dumping Dunky despite grassroots Tories calling for his silver-haired head.

Gloating Gordon couldn't believe his luck when Dave had to deal with yet another Tory stepping out of line and up to firing line - this time NHS Hannan, sucked into an unhealthy US civil war and joining in the national sport of slagging off the sacred cow of the NHS.

As Gordon and Sarah, twittered truly, madly, deeply about their love of the good old days, Dave was not far behind, turning any proper debate about healthcare into an NHS slagging match to the refrain of Anything You Can Love, I Can Love Better.

In the battle of the two Andys, likeable Lansley beat boring Burnham hands down. But it says a lot about the new People's 'Progressive' Party when Dave only doles out a slap on the wrist for Dunky's put down of the poor, while desperate Dan's NHS outburst gets him tarred as a "traitor".

The Orange Party believes Cameron has had it all far too easy. In the cut and thrust of day to day politics all he's had to do was sit back and watch the fag-end government tear itself apart and deluded Brown and his bunch of tired old cronies suffocate on their own spin.

Revenge was a dish best served cold in a posh B&B in the Lakes. But it's not all plain sailing.

Sorry to spoil the holiday fun but unlike the crazy world of Gordon Brown, no Tory is calling for Cameron's head and there's the laborious September Party conference leaving party to get through. Goodness knows what cunning plans the Supreme Leaders-in-waiting and their hangers-on are hatching.

There's a real world out there full of hardship, misery and fed-up real people. There's a whole media for the Unelected One to feed and keep on side and some serious spinning to be done.

Barbour Brown should enjoy his holiday while he can.