Deceitful Darling's Budget Bunkum Debunked

Desperate Darling has been touting around his debt for hire as much of the media saw through the sham of a fantasy election manifesto dressed up as 'Budget Day', debunking Deceitful Darling's budget bunkum.

"If this financial statement had been delivered by a major company, the Fraud Squad would have been called in," was one of the kinder comments coming from Peter Oborne writing in the Mail, as much of the media saw through the con.

The Orange Party posted up a budget pre-piece - A fake Budget for a failed economy - nodded off during Dreadfully Dull Darling's deceitful drone and woke up refreshed to find the last post still ringing true in the ears. And refreshed that much of the media hadn't been taken in by the 'Budget Day' con-trick.

A deceitful mix of fiddles, fixes and fudge with the sham of fantasy 'growth' for Darling's Fantasy Island at the heart of the pack of lies.

No wonder Deceitful Darling ducked out of the BBC Today prog. Empty-chaired, refusing to go head to head with Honest Osborne. Though finding time to pop up everywhere else like a rash in bid to capture and control the media narrative with Brown sauce and Mandy spin.

The Orange Party has been banging on for an age about the deceitful disgrace of using fantasy 'growth' to spin the lie of halving the deficit while leaving a mountain of national debt behind.

Now Deceitful Darling's cunning plan to claim the country's borrowing is set to halve over the next four years has been seized on swiftly as not quite the same thing as halving the national debt.

Dull Darling read out a fudge-it budget conjuring up every low trick in the smoke and mirrors accounting book with Pussycat Peter's paw prints all over the chancer chancellor.

"From Robin Hood to Alistair in Wonderland". And that was from the Guardian's Michael whiter-than-White.

A fairytale budget that doesn't deal with the realities of the budget deficit with a projected national debt of £1.4 trillion in five years time. And no department spending review this side of the election, leaving a mighty multi-billion pound black hole to be plugged.

A phoney baloney flammed up farce and pre-election puff. The air filled with a whiff of spring optimism. Nick a Tory idea over stamp duty then wrong foot them with a bit of 'soaking the rich'. "Nakedly political," thundered The Times. Leave the scent of austerity and belt-tightening lingering behind.

The City seems to have given up the ghost of the Budget Day sport of poring over figures and picking holes as a pretty pointless waste of time. "Darling ducks deficit challenge," groaned the FT. The real hard 'budget' however it is dressed up will come after the election.

With an election weeks away, the 'Budget' was always set to be a holding spin operation. Apart from a law to collect taxes, sly spending cuts are already being slipped in. Hidden stealth taxes are due to kick in next month.

The well spun 'Budget Day' was the last big 'event' and last roll of the election dice before Bottling Brown finally gets round to naming the day. A dull, meaningless election manifesto. All part of a deceitful plan to pick up a few straggling votes.

Tomorrow's another day - and that election call is getting closer by the day.

Top picture: Tory budget attack stunt

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Fake Budget Farce For Failed Economy

The farce of a fake budget for a failed economy is set to be foisted on wised-up voters from a fag-end government. Dreadful Darling is trying to fool voters with a pre-election manifesto of Brown sauce dressed up as 'Budget Day'. A cunning plan to conjure up a budget sham of spin, fiddles and fudge.

Dreadful Darling's dull 'budget' is set to be spun and sprung on a sceptical suspecting public, throwing a few promised crumbs to jittery money markets and all forgotten by the weekend.

A phoney baloney flammed up farce and pre-election puff. Fill the air with a whiff of spring optimism leaving the scent of austerity lingering behind. Wrong foot then tie down Tories.

The Budget Day sport of poring over figures, picking holes is pretty pointless. With an election weeks away, the 'Budget' will be no more than a holding spin operation apart from a law to collect taxes, with sly spending cuts already slipped in and hidden stealth taxes due to kick in next month.

The real hard 'Budget' will come hard on the heels of the election whatever colour and flavour of the new parliament. Only then will voters be told the full scale of the cuts that everyone knows is needed to get the country out of the economic Brown mess.

The message will be upbeat. The politics of false optimism is now a well-entrenched New Labour marketing tool. But with no cash in the kitty there can be no pre-election give-aways and bribes. "A sensible workmanlike budget" is how Darling described it, already spilling a few budget beans to pals in the BBC.

But with no comprehensive spending review this side of the election, department ministers won't know how much they can squander - unless you're full of Balls. And that leaves a mighty black hole to be plugged.

The last throw of the election dice with a dull, meaningless budget manifesto, is all part of the deceitful plan to screw the Tories and pick up a few straggling votes. Craftily focussing on the sham of a 'growth' deficit - how much more the government has to borrow than it spends - but not getting to grips with Borrowing Brown's monstrous debt mountain.

Using rigged ONS figures, it now seems the chancellor has not to borrow as much as he thought, goes the spin. Well whoopee dee. 'Only' £132 billion against an estimate of £178 billion. £132 billion is still £5,666 for every household in the country. And that's apart from the £200 billion of funny money swilling around.

The City wants hard evidence of using any spare cash to pay back the monstrous debt. But the spin has been to waffle around cutting the GDP deficit using fantasy 'growth' predictions. Any talk about 'spending' a bit of the 'windfall' is a cock-eyed way of living in La-La land when any spending relies on borrowed money and borrowed time.

The borrowing spin is already fanning the flames of false optimism with fiddled GDP figures. The bogeyman of crucial GDP growth figures out for Q1 on April 23 is set to be spun as 'good news' with another rigged recovery. Ministers insist on churning out the line they will "halve the deficit in four years". Halve the deficit with fantasy growth, while still leaving the crippling borrow and spend debt burden.

The EU commission has told the government to stop pouring Brown sauce over the dire economy with a crafty 'growth' con to cut the whopping budget deficit. But without that fictional 'growth', the Brown economy would collapse round his ears like a pack of cards.

Dull Darling will read out a fudge-it budget for Fantasy Island but Pussycat Peter's paw prints have been all over the chancellor like a rash in the budget battle between Darling Mandy and Brown Balls. Anyone who thinks the economy will spin itself into a remarkable recovery is living in cloud cuckoo land.

Firing a Brown broadside for his economic record cooking the books and fiddling the figures, Peter Hoskin over at the Spectator has already pointed out: "Brown & Co. certainly have a track record when it comes to underestimating borrowing totals. Throw in Brown's various off-balance sheet ruses, and the future borrowing position is likely to be considerably worse than Darling's forecasts."

Tories know where to hit where it hurts. Posters soon will be hot of the press. Honest Osborne has already waded in: "We need leadership and new vision, but instead I fear we will get Alistair Darling's swan song."

Fake 'Budget Day' is just part of the pre-election plan to capture and dominate the media narrative.

Soon the public will not have to suffer the sham spin fiddles and fudge of 'global' this and that, 'downturns' and 'deficits' used to dupe voters and mask economic reality.

Borrowing Brown and his economic mess has left a future that's not bright. The future is belt-tightening. The phoney budget fires the starting gun in the election battle between Tory 'authenticity' and New Labour 'artificiality'.

Update 10.40am: Portugal's credit rating has been downgraded by a leading credit rating agency because of mounting debt. Have a nice day, Darling.

Top graphic: Sun. Mid graphic: Burningourmoney

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Why Did Brown Leave The Budget So Late?

Bunkered Brown has been finally forced to announce the date for the fag-end government's pre-election budget manifesto on March 24, weathering the storm with storm clouds ahead. Why did it take the struggling Supreme Leader so long?

The date of the Darling Mandy/Brown Balls Budget has been one of life's mysteries. The only clue being Dreadful Darling coming clean with a vague "sometime in March".

The Orange Party has been thumbing through the Political Guide for Geeks. The 2008 budget was delivered on March 12, announced on February 1, 39 days ahead. Last year Darling's budget was delivered on April 22, announced on February 12, 69 days ahead of time. So why all the secrecy?

The budget date gives clues to the date of the election and more importantly when Bottling Brown will make that call. Setting the date too early would give the game away.

Blustering Brown's gut reaction is to cling on until the bitter end. Partly to push as much monkey business through parliament as possible to screw the Tories and partly because he doesn't think there's a need for an election anyway.

But the money markets are waking up in a cold sweat having Borrowing Brown nightmares as Brown Balls tried to pull a fast one on Darling Mandy.

The election call has to be made sooner rather than later. At the stroke of midnight on Monday 10 May 2010, "the current Parliament ... will cease to exist", according to the Electoral Commission. A general election to elect the new Parliament "must be held by no later than Thursday 3 June 2010."

The current election flavour of the month is May 6, just 28 days before the deadline set by law. But May 6 means parliament would be either proroged or dissolved at least 24 days earlier, by April 12.

The parliament website is still keeping tight-lipped over the date of the Easter Recess.

The budget fires the starting gun of the election campaign proper. The key last roll of the dice on the pre-election grid. A mere manifesto with little time left to push through any of the measures.

All part of the pre-election plan to capture and dominate the media narrative. After Cashroft and dodgy push polls, Brown is allowed out only for the odd weepy and to come over all statesmanlike with staged PR stunts and photo-ops. Lines are already being trotted out. Ministers will be preparing to sing from the same hymn sheet: "we are all weathering the storm together."

But the only interest will be when to cut and how much spending and borrowing there will be in the battle between Darling Mandy and Brown Balls.

The bogeyman is Glorious St George's Day, April 23, with crucial GDP growth figures out for Q1. Treasury spinners will have poured over the figures gambling on the "good news" of another rigged recovery rather than the risk of the country slipping back into recession depression.

But anyone who thinks the economy will spin itself into a remarkable recovery is living in cloud cuckoo land.

The cat and mouse election call game in the gift of a struggling Supreme Leader is set to continue until Bottling Brown finally has the guts to name the day, the Palace of Westminster becomes a wilderness, politicians are booted out, MPs become mere mortals and Brown's BBC forced to clean up its blatantly biased act.

The country will be run by an unelected prime minister who isn't even an MP. And freshly scrubbed-up Dave will have to be given as much air time as a grisly old has-been. The election campaign proper will be short and not very sweet using every trick in the dirty book.

Electioneering Budget Day brings that day of reckoning just that little bit closer.

Top picture: Peter Brookes, The Times. Bottom picture: Private Eye

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Calls For No Confidence Vote Grow Louder

Tories are being urged to show some guts and press for a no confidence vote in Beleaguered Brown's fag-end government, as a Downing Street e-petition calling on the PM to resign is launched.

The writing was on the wall for the doomed New Labour project even before Darling's fantasy budget bunkum blasted public confidence with its toxic mix of a broken New Labour tax promise and Brown's decade of debt starkly exposed, leaving voters angry, fed-up and demoralised.

Now, in a two pronged attack, a simple and brief Downing Street e-petition calling on Brown to resign has been launched, worded in a non-partisan way to neatly side-step Downing Street censors, which comes amid increasing calls for Cameron to force a vote of no confidence in the commons.

Ministers' sordid second homes fiddles, Smeargate and the squalid treatment of Damian Green led the Orange Party to ask here whether a vote of no confidence could bring down Brown.

Voters, saddled with billions of pounds of debt for decades, want honest answers to just how to get out out the fine mess created by the Brown and Darling comedy act. But instead the government used the budget for a squalid exercise in political posturing. As a fed-up Economist put it: "The public is losing patience with him, and so is this newspaper."

Riding on the back of a budget roundly condemned by all and sundry, a new Telegraph/YouGov poll shows a Tory double digit lead, leading Mike Smithson over at Political Betting to conclude: "I find it hard to see how Labour can come back."

The Orange Party has long believed Brown and the Downing Street spinners are working to a tightly controlled pre-election grid, obsessed with saving some of their skins in an election and not saving the country.

That would have been this June, riding on the back of a 'successful' G20 summit and a budget for their future. But events have a nasty habit of getting in the way.

Now it's only a question of whether the men in grey suits or white coats will come and take him away, whether bottling Brown will indeed bottle it again or whether they just sit tight until the bitter end when finally prised out of office, taking what's left of the Labour Party down with them.

What the arrogant bunch of chancers don't want is for someone or something to force their grubby little hands. But as Ian Martin at the Telegraph says: "The country is utterly exhausted with Labour."

With the shifting sands of squalid second homes allowances, Smeargate, a G20 summit exposed as a con and now the budget disaster, public confidence or rather the total lack of it, is the key to how the election run up will be played out.

Take away ministers and pay roll MPs who have a vested interest in propping up a discredited government and you are left with MPs who have a party allegiance for sure, but also many who are keenly aware of the 'mood' of the country.

The cancer is spreading and the prognosis is terminal. Financial wire service, Bloomberg, has laid bare Brown's fading legacy and election prospects to the world. The strange beast of parliament often takes a long time to swing around but in the end often captures that public mood.

The issue of confidence among voters should raise the issue of confidence in Brown in the house of commons. Frederick Forsyth at the Express is in no doubt what Dave should do: "I say to David Cameron: go for it. Table your motion. Even if you lose it on the floor of the House, we voters will remember who voted for what was best for their country and who for their wallets. And we will not forget."

To help Cameron and the Tories, a motion has already been drafted, thanks to blogger Stuart Sharpe, calling on Cameron to propose "a motion of No Confidence in Her Majesty's Government in Parliament", urging like-minded bloggers to flag it up.

Throw the disaster of a budget into the current mix of toxic scandals and brand Brown is doomed, however long New Labour tries to cling onto power. Cameron should grasp the political nettle. He may come up smelling of roses.

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Brown Gives Us A Laugh At MPs' Expense

Never the parliamentarian, a deluded Brown has popped up in a YouTube-style video with plans for a major U-turn on MPs' expenses, neatly bypassing MPs and the commons and giving everyone a laugh.

In a blatant and disgraceful affront to parliamentary democracy, film-makers must have wet themselves as the Supreme Leader tried to turn into Mr Cool, all a-shakin' and a-movin', in one of the funniest video ever to come out of No10.

The desperate attempt to be the next big YouTube sensation saw a hapless chancellor Darling posting a message on YouTube yesterday, explaining why the budget will be all about preparing for his future.

Not to be outdone, Brown clearly had a have ago, with a video to try to wrong-foot Tories and LibDems, thinly disguised as a tightening of MPs expenses, with plans to replace the scandalous perk with a lump sum just for doing their job and turning up for work.

Fraser Nelson over at the Spectator has produced a handy 12-point guide to the comic moves on display and when the behind camera prompt cards tell a droning Brown to face piles of trials - with smiles.

Ministers and hangers-on had been breathing a sigh of relief as the rotting cancer of fiddled expenses and disgraceful Tory email smears gave way to the welcome respite of a week of well-leaked and well-spun budget hype, blissfully unaware that the scandals are in remission and the prognosis is still terminal.

But this whole charade stinks of hypocrisy. Brown's top ministers had already voted down a move to clean up and control MPs expenses and the prime minister didn't even turn up for the vote.

On top of that, the Kelly inquiry by the commons standards committee is already looking at a long-term solution to the shameful scandal not Brown's quick headline-grabbing short-term fix.

Over a decade of a reckless and irresponsible government in denial is set to be laid bare in tomorrow's Budget to nowhere, as the Laurel and Hardy comedy act are finally forced to come clean over the fine mess they've got us into.

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