Thursday, April 22, 2010

Clegg Attack!

The knives are out for Two-faced Clegg and his potty party as the windbag leader of the little party for little people limbers up for a limp performance in tonight's TV debate. Adjectival reporting which suits the style of a blistering Clegg Attack in today's tabloids. Down and dirty politics in the raw but something to liven up a boring election campaign.

The Orange Party reckons it was about time for some SAS-style politics. If you are under fire - go on the attack with guns blazing - don't bury yourself in a safe-hole.

Smug Clegg put himself on the pedestal, the public didn't do that for him. They were taken in by all the Big Media hype of Little Nick's talent show.

And the media played its part in beefing up Calamity Clegg's novelty act and delivering a soap star superstar to the nations.

Now the searing sunlight of scrutiny is being shone on Wonderboy Clegg. Exactly the same relentless attacks on personality and policy both Cameron and Brown have had to face week after week after week.

The same scrutiny that has exposed Saint Vince's slipping halo revealing a waffling charlatan in the TV would-be-chancellor debate.

Now Two-faced Clegg's dodgy dealings and shameless past is starting to catch up with him. In the Mail, Express, Sun and Metro. But it is the Telegraph which knocks Clumsy Clegg off his pedestal revealing political donations paid into his private bank account in 2006, before he became leader.

Dishonest at worst, a fool at best. Whatever side of the political fence wavering voters are starting to sit on, mud sticks.

Fudge and waffle on major issues such as the economy, immigration, Trident and the EU leaves voters confused. Would voters trust this guy to call the shots holding the balance of power? Is this unknown who has shot to stardom really PM material?

The Orange Party believes this isn't about the future of the one hit wonder but Mandy's dream of an ever-lasting New Labour project.

A dream-ticket of a Clegg-Mandy alliance where Labour tribalist Brown would be kicked off a coalition like an old boot hissing 'Liberal' between gritted teeth. Paving the way for son of New Labour with Mandy and the Blairites pulling the strings and calling the shots.

The stakes are high. The little fish in a big pond was bigged up to take the heat off dismal Brown but the cunning plan could backfire as voters see through the sham and the Clegg star starts to wain.

The Mandy Plan with the chaos of a badly-hung parliament is a risky election strategy. The struggling Supreme Leader and the discredited Liberals could be left down in the dumps and down in the polls, leaving Tories to romp home - and to the victor goes the spoils.

Smug Clegg’s cynical claim of "a new honesty and decency" had a hollow ring from a leader who is part of the Westminster elite and a party which changes tack at the drop of a hat to con a few straggling voters.

Revealing "the nasty tricks of the real nasty party", Oborne in the Mail, blasts the leader of "a profoundly dishonest party that is prepared to lie, cheat and on occasion issue outrageous smears on its opponents in order to win power." Milking MPs' expenses to fund party propaganda, according to the Spectator.

Windbag Clegg always had a lot to live up to after all the Cleggmania and media hype. Now Euroboy Clegg has been shown up as a windbag politician, incapable of expressing complex arguments and issues with any clarity.

No wonder Wonderboy is falling flat on his face with "Clegg on his face", as the Sun sweetly puts it. Floundering on detail, fudging on issues and making a fool of himself and viewers who've been sucked in by the spin.

And this from Calamity Clegg who was stupid enough to leave his secret election debate plans in the back of a cab.

UPDATE 2.25pm: Mandy's cage has been rattled condemning "disgusting", "cheap and rather squalid" attacks on Clegg, accusing the 'Tory' press of "smears" and "dirty tricks". Mandy defending Clegg and the old tin-pot trouper calling kettles black. Whose side is he really on?

Tabloid round-up: Politicalbetting


Andy Cowley said...

You should really write for the Daily Mail, you've got their style down magnificently. "Wind-bag", "Two-faced", "Calamity Clegg", wonderful. Anyone can do cynicism my friend, the internet is full of it. Now go away and write something useful.

Unknown said...

May I say how much I've enjoyed the orange party blog since I discovered it about a year ago. Some much needed enjoyment after 13 long years of a NuLabour government which has turned cynicism into a fine art. The sole purpose of NuLabour is to win and hold onto power at whatever cost. Cynicism in an internet blog does no harm. Cynicism in government is dangerous. Incidentally, your style is much more reminiscent of Private Eye.