Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Sex, Lies And Another Videotape

Belated efforts to put Bank Holiday bickering behind them got off to a feeble start with Brown's education shunned, porno Smith on her high horse bent on banning everyone who gets up her nose and Obama harnessed for the Leader's Party Selection Broadcast. 

Battered Brown's bid to get back on the front foot ended on the back-burner with a much-vaunted education fightback speech turning into a rehashed damp squib. 

Ambushed as he arrived to make the speech of his life at a southeast London school, parents, angry at the closure of a local primary school, tried to block his car as it swept in through the school gates.

According to Sky, the poor old PM didn't fare much better inside. Students at the school walked out of the speech early and one girl almost fainted with a bad case of Brown flu.

Who could blame them? Brown didn't disappoint with classic Brownspeak - devoid of any policy announcement we've not heard a thousand times before in a belated bid to try to teach the Tories a lesson.

Meanwhile it's still looking iffy for Smiffy as the two homes secretary popped up on the GMTV sofa with a 'name and shame' list of people she doesn't like, trying to wriggle out of her troubled times with a nifty smokescreen of the shamed.

The nations waited with bated breath, eager to find out if hapless hubby would be among them. Sadly it was just a round up of the usual suspects. 

In a feeble effort to claim some sort of moral high ground, the porno queen had the bare-faced cheek to lecture the nations: "I think it's important that people understand the sorts of values and sorts of standards that we have here."

The terribly politically correct banned list has someone for everyone. You name it and disposable Smith has it covered. Hate preachers, anti-gay preachers, Islamic supremacists, white supremacists and  popular right-wing US talk radio host Michael Savage, not happy to be lumped in among the nasties but no O. Bin Laden and no pornographers. 

Interestingly the hit list does include six people whose names are not being released  on the grounds that would not be in the "public interest". 

Grounds of national security yes. After all, we don't want them knowing that we know they know we know and all that. But "public interest"?  The catch-all phrase so beloved of the Orwellian Big Sister State. 

Who decides "public interest"? Whose public and whose interest? And whatever happened to cherished freedom of speech as long as you don't say or do anything here that's against the law.

Amid all that Prezza pops up all a-huffin' and a-puffin' to say Brown has "the worst bloody smile in the world." Pots and black kettles spring to mind.

Unfazed by his last foolish YouTube comedy sensation, cool Brown gets down and dirty with voters again tonight with yet another video nasty, this time a Partly Satirical Broadcast, which has already made a guest appearance on YouTube.

Strangely compelling, in a masochistic sort of way, it's a good indicator of where things are heading and how Downing Street is putting the lid on any careless talk of a leadership bid. An election broadcast totally centred on the Supreme Leader droning on about that downturn thing.

Billed as a Party Election Broadcast, some may be a tad confused. Local and Euro elections on June 4 but no mention of either local council issues or a Euro referendum here. Instead it's just boring Brown and lots of him, trying too hard to lift the spirits of recession depression. All very strait-laced and sombre, facing piles of trials with few smiles. 

What a disappointment. The Orange Party counted only one and a half smiles but did nod off in the middle. But hey folks that nice Obama guy pops up as Brown's new best friend towards the end. And which cynical sod reckoned the G20 summit sham was all about electioneering?

Using Obama stock-footage to try to win votes is a cheap trick. It won't work. 

Bad news of the day? The BBC's Nick Robinson reckons the PM won't be "defenestrated". Shame. It sounds rather painful.

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