Sunday, July 27, 2008

Dave's Bike Found Shock, Exclusive

New Labour's sad old Sunday Mirror has found Cameron's bike and retuned it to its grateful owner. If you believe that you might as well give up on newspapers and life. 

Cameron's bike was 'nicked' while he popped into a local shop. And there just happens to be lots of mobile phone footage of Cameron when he came out. 

The Mirror said it had used the contacts of "local community elder" Ernest Theophile, to find the bike.

But Theophile is described by the newspaper as "a staunch Labour voter who runs a social business with the help of wayward teenagers to stop them falling into a life of crime". He's come up against Cameron in the past for riding the wrong way down a one-way street.

The Mirror and the pap have been following Cameron around for ages - and Johnson for that matter - trying to get pics of them going though red lights, up a wrong way street and helmet-less. 

Earlier this year, the Mirror snapped Cameron (or was it Johnson?) on his bike ignoring red lights and going the wrong way up a one-way street.

But this latest wheeze back-fired for the Mirror. What we actually got was a picture of a fit and cool looking Cameron in a very fetching pair of shorts, popping into his local Tesco after a hard days work to get the family something for tea. 

Thanks to the 'missing bike' Cameron just rocketed though the popularity stakes. With the cunning plan in tatters, the Mirror had no choice but to give him his bike back. 

The Mirror is going through hard times because no-one wants to read a New Labour propaganda rag, so here's some free advice from an old hack. 

Next time don't nick the bike - just let the tyres down! 

Then you get a picture of hot and flustered Cameron all a-huffin' and a-puffin' trying to pump up the tyres and lots of nice headlines about his policies falling flat.

Picture: Sunday Mirror

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