Saturday, February 27, 2010

Honesty Is The Best Election Policy

Daring new honesty policies have been unveiled as lacklustre leaders left floundering in a fog of fudge try a new tack to woo voters. Leading the charge is Honest Joes Osborne and Darling going head to head in the cuts honesty stakes. Suddenly honesty is the best policy.

Boy George and Dopey Darling were so last year.

Honest Osborne has managed to stick to his cutting guns, despite relentless attacks from enemies in the City and media, steadfastly sticking to his promise to put cutting debt at the heart of the Tory election campaign.

Now Blunt Byrne over at Dreadful Darling's treasury tells The Times: “We’ve got to be still clearer and blunter about where the cuts are going to come from,” disclosing details of a behind the scenes secret mini spending round.

"Even hospitals to feel the axe as Treasury struggles to saves £11 billion", reports The Times disclosing Bruiser Byrne has been "summoning cabinet colleagues and signing them up to large cuts in their running costs, from consultancy and energy efficiency to better use of online systems."

The Orange Party long suspected secret cutbacks were being brought in through the back door while Borrowing Brown and side-kick Blinky Balls were left borrowing, spending and spinning.

Back in the Mandy camp, the real Supreme Leader had started the ball rolling, delivering an early Christmas present to universities announcing swinging cuts. The only minister who could afford to come out and come clean because he's unelected.

With international moneylenders poised to pull the plug on Borrowing Brown, the government could not be seen to be dragging its feet on cutting the record £178 billion deficit. £200 billion of funny money swilling around is enough to send anyone into recession depression.

But the cash-strapped Party needed to spin a public sector spending line to keep unions sweet and play politics to paint the Tories as the nasty party. While all the time pushing on the back door to keep moneylenders sweet.

Now Demob Happy Darling has been freed to unleash his own 'forces of hell' on Whitehall and in the budget knowing full well he cannot be booted out of the treasury this side of the election.

The Orange Party has warmed to Gladiator Darling after he unleashed hell with the guts to spill the beans on the ruthless bunch of Downing Street reservoir dogs who hound out anyone who dares to cross the spinning line.

But how long has New Labour been spinning the sham it won't be cutting spending in 2010 for fear of damaging the economy? If only Brown Balls could have found an ounce of honesty.

For a time honesty was the best policy of Cameron's conservatives - in fact the only policy.

Cool Cameron had the election in the bag until the weak demented jellyfish started wobbling around over the EU referendum and cuts climbdown. Now fighting a rearguard action to regain the high ground. And facing an uphill battle as commissioned push polls with dodgy weightings and samples set the election narrative and agenda.

But as the Tory election campaign moves up a gear, Brown's BBC is breathing a sigh of earthquake relief as Dave makes a big splash in Brighton. Flamming up the "Small Earthquake in Chile. Not many Dead" headline which would have made Cockburn proud and desperately seeking rent-a-sob for the human touch.

All a far cry from a Brown sauce future fair splashed across last Saturday's bulletins to take the heat off Bullygate.

Down-in-the-dumps Dave needs to be brutally clear and honest, tell voters the truth and sack the election strategy guru who came up with muddled messages just as confused voters were deserting the New Labour sham in droves.

The Tory election 'vote for change' slogan unveiled at Brighton smacks of the politics of false hope used by the Obamacon campaign to dupe US voters. But here 'change' may just chime with an edgy public increasingly angry, frustrated and uninterested in carefully crafted nuances of policy and meaningless slogans.

An unhappy public, worried sick about jobs and a sick society, blames the status quo. They are crying out for change. And that means a dose of reality and real change from the current fag-end government.

Honesty is the best policy but when it comes to telling porkies, the finger of suspicion points to Beaming Brown. Anything is better than being taken for a five year ride on the 'Future Fair'.

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