Under fire fiddling New Labour MP, 'Dry Rot' Moran, is to quit in shame at the next election. A Tory totty is daintily stepping down with a helping hand from Dave. Shurley shome mishtake? Should that all be the other way round?
Angry voters have been caught in the middle of a squalid game of party political point scoring as the spinners work out a crafty way of duping the public in the MPs' expenses stakes.
Two MPs, Tory Julie Kirkbride and New Labour's Margaret Moran, have announced they will both quit at the next election over the expenses scandal. But who came first the chick or the rotten egg?
On a good day to bury bad news, New Labour was in like a shot with a quickie and the discredited Tory was followed hard on the heels by a like-for-like New Labour scalp.
The Orange Party suspects a little game of party politicking here. Voters are no fools. They've been hoodwinked but can see through the sham.
"Stepping or standing down" is a Carry On Regardless, keeping their ill-gotten gains until handed a handsome parachute pay-off package and gold-plated pension pot on a plate, all funded by the hard-up taxpayer.
Stepping down or staying on. Either way it is not putting bunkered Brown on the spot with an immediate by-election.
The media is faced with a battle of the headlines. Whose name do you put first? What picture do you use? An open and honest Moran and shifty Kirkbride or vice versa? Brown's BBC has a glum and shifty Kirkbride and smiley Moran (opposite). Natch.
Disposable Moran has been under fire with her card marked for a long time after it was disclosed she claimed £22,500 for treating dry rot at her partner's home in Southampton, 100 miles from both her constituency and Westminster.
Kirkbride has been in the middle of witch-hunt since it was disclosed she and her husband had been claiming the second home allowance for mortgage interest payments on two properties - one in London and one in the Midlands.
It gets mighty hot in the under fire kitchen. You pays your money and takes your choice but the Orange Party cannot help feel the frenzy over Kirkbride was reaching fever pitch while Moran was shielded and left to languish in luxury.
MPs may be quitting like flies but none of them are of such a political significance they would rock a Party boat and threaten to sink it.
Tough-talking weasel-worded Brown shammed it up as New Labour bit-players in the MPs' expenses scandal were shunted into the long grass and given the 'Star Chamber' treatment.
Meanwhile cabinet cronies are being let off Scot-free for fiddling the taxman by putting accountants on expenses and scamming second homes fiddles.
How can the public trust a prime minister who on the one hand pledges to "clean up politics" and that MPs who had misbehaved would be dealt with and with the other hand plays for time and backs up his cabinet cronies?
The whole expenses scandal has left a nasty taste in the mouth whether it's claiming for lavish expenses or a corrupt second homes flipping fiddle.
The Orange Party only hopes the Telegraph hasn't run out of scandal steam just yet and the full horror of the 'spouse' scam is exposed. Employing partners and children by MPs to boost the family coffers is at best a dodgy practice if no one else got a look in for the plum job.
How many are hired without so much as a job interview to feather the family nest? Keeping it all in the family without any competition kinda goes against employment law for public servants and EU directives. Hattie will not be happy.
And who's up to her neck in that racket? As well as claiming for his porn videos and an iPhone, two homes secretary Smith's hubby is employed as her parliamentary adviser on a salary of £40,000 a year.
Voters are fed up with a cat and mouse game of brinkmanship and the charade of bit-players forced to bite the dust. The only way to clear out the stables and remove the rotten stench is through a general election now, stupid.
Only the MPs and their hangers on who have the most to lose are bleating and clinging on to a nice little earner and cushy little number, unwittingly paid for by the taxpayer. Real people forced to scrape a living in the real world want a real election.
Top picture: Private Eye. Mid top picture: BBC News. Mid bottom picture: Mail
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