Thursday, March 04, 2010

Blair's Joke Book Journey To Nowhere

Serious but with the hint of a smile. Smart yet informal. A pretty straight kind of guy with a touch of two-faced shallowness. A date has finally been announced for the release of disgraced Blair's long-awaited vanity 'memoirs' kept under wraps until after the election. Nice tan - shame about the cold devil eyes.

Jokes for Blair's joke book are already coming thick and fast. Is it to be filed under Fiction or Non-Fiction?

The contrived cover title 'Journey' so beloved of media luvvies and reality TV contestants, says it all. Slick, shallow untrustworthy and unpopular - just some of the reviews readers won't see on the back cover.

Blair's book blows out of the water the rule that you cannot judge a book by looking at the cover. A photograph, design and title more suited to the latest celebrity puff 'bestseller' destined for the Poundshop.

The book will probably go down a bomb in the States used to being duped by a slick snake-oil salesman. But over here at £25 a pop? Is Brand Blair registered in the UK for tax purposes or has he joined the long list of dodgy non-doms?

Still suffering from writer's cramp, the ex-PM went to great pains to point out he wrote the book all by himself. “I have really enjoyed the writing of the book. … Most of all I want readers to have as much pleasure reading it as I had writing it,” said sincere Blair.

The Orange Party is confused. Wasn't it ghost written? Or was that just a figment of Robert Harris's imagination?

The old showman made a big song and dance of not spilling the Brown beans until after the election so as not to spoil bitter Brown's big day.

“His book is frank, open, revealing and written in an intimate and accessible style," said his vanity publisher. Has anyone told arch-rival Brown or will Blair suffer from writer's block.

Or does a September launch show Blair thinks the struggling Supreme Leader is on a loser. Blair has nothing to lose except for the royalties from book sales and serialisation rights.

Passed over for his life-long quest to head up a New World Order as EU El Presidente, war-mongering Blair is left to wander the world on his lonesome with only his ill-gotten gains, blood on his hands, guilt on his shoulders and murky memoirs to flog.

Raking in thousands of pounds from a City hedge fund which raked in fat profits from the banking crisis, cashing in on his war contacts and raking in a few million more from the publisher's advance book deal.

Juggling globe-trotting a joke role as 'Middle East peace envoy' one day and the odd book signing at WH Smith the next.

Washed-up Blair is set to sink to the depths of a soap star has-been, plugging a new book on TV chat shows. How the once high and mighty have fallen.

Bottom picture: Private Eye

1 comment:

DeeDee99 said...

Oh how I wish no-one would buy it.

Unfortunately, there will still be people interested in what Blair has to say and who will believe anything he says. He still can fool some of the people all of the time.