Thursday, March 05, 2009

How Long Will Brown Stay In Blighty?

Brown Force One had hardly touched the tarmac before Downing Street was plotting the next prime ministerial far away-day jolly. Anyone would think he's trying to escape.  

Legging it and leaving hapless ministers floundering and flannelling around while his deputy spins for England is not the way to run the country. 

Swanning around saving the world is one thing but leaving a sinking ship rudderless is quite another. What's wrong with this country? Or maybe that's just the problem. Better out than in, as they say in Yorkshire. 

Fresh from his 'triumph' (according to the BBC) of his hyped-up Washington tour, next up are grand tours of Latin American and possibly the Far East, according to reliable sources with just the dates and times waiting to be inked in on the election grid. 

When was the last time the Supreme Leader made a major pronouncement on home or foreign policy, rather than droning on about global this and that, saving the planet from global disaster, global warming and mosquitoes? 

Maybe he is working to a grand master-plan, all meticulously mapped out, leaving the lackeys to do the running around with the minute detail but if he is he's keeping it close to his chest. 

Ministers jockeying for position in the post-Brown era are quite happy with the symbiotic relationship. 

The Orange Party has lost count of the number of times beleaguered Brown has fled the country but a quick skeg at the Downing Street website reveals all. It was bound to come in useful one day. 

There they all are, as bold as brass, including the quickie jaunts to cosy up his EU plans in Brussels, with obligatory pictures for the Downing Street album.

Even during a stay-at-home break for the G20 April 2 summit, Brown will be in London in body but certainly not in mind, as he's determined to take centre stage, and snuggle up to Obama if he bothers to turn up. 

The Orange Party has a couple of theories why he is more out than in and it's not just the air-miles.

Clearly he's taking a leaf out of Blair's book and getting in some pre-bookings for the world-wide lecture tour when he's booted out of office. 

He'll be hard pressed to compete with the Master who managed to squeeze in his first visit to Gaza and a Washington climate change summit (sic) all in the same breath. 

Or maybe he just can't face another Wednesday in the bear-pit of the commons, making a complete fool of himself trying to competing with Mr Angry for sound-bites. Making his excuses of another grand world tour is better than a sick note. 

It's understandable. Things are just getting on top of him back home. What with those pesky Royal Mail rebels, Hattie sticking the knife in and the whole country pestering him to say sorry.

Maybe it's not a bad thing. He should listen to the men in grey cloth-caps and "spend more time with his family". 

Picture: Brown gets a make-over before the Washington 'Audacity of Hype' tour

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