the orange party

A New Dawn Is Broken

2010-05-12T10:42:00.079+01:00

Morning has broken over a new Dave dawn. The shaky ship of state is sailing into uncharted waters. Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue. But on the good ship lollipop, it's a nice trip into bed we hop. (That's enough. Ed). So bring me sunshine in your smile, bring me laughter all the while. (I said that's enough). The story so far …

Brazen hussy Nicky is pimping in the park. Posh boy Dave cannot believe his luck and offers his birthday money for a few favours. Nicky says - we'll see.

"I've found the right girl!" exclaims love-struck Dave. Cue a song and dance.

The CamClegg love-in has begun. Too lovey-dovey. Too much personality not enough policy. 20 odd waffy LibDems in government jobs and Calamity Clegg as Deputy Dog. That's 'new politics' for you.

Hacked-off hacks will try to pull the ConDems apart with over-hyped hackneyed hubris. There may be trouble ahead but while there's moonlight and music and love and romance, let's face the music and dance.

A marriage made in heaven for the power couple or a disaster waiting to happen? The public will want to give peace a chance. But people generally voted for a party, its leader and its policies. What they may end up with is something that satisfies no-one. It's going to be a long and winding road. (You're fired. Ed).

Video: Cheryl Campbell and Nigel Rathbone in Dennis Potter's Pennies From Heaven. BBC (1978). Music from Jack Jackson & His Orchestra.

Yes, Prime Minister

2010-05-11T21:57:00.055+01:00

After five anxious days struggling on life-support, democracy has shown weak signs of recovery. Rescued by common sense. A new Dave day has dawned.

Faced with the wrath and ridicule of the electorate, the shambles of the last five days has left in its wake Clegg's naked ambition, Mandy's naked grab for power and Brown's naked cheek.

The end came with a muddled mess. Just like the outcome of the general election. As a new Dave dawn breaks, the new ship of 'new politics', 'liberal conservatism' and 'coalition' sets sail into unchartered waters. And into over-hyped copy.

Would he go or would he stay? In the end Beaten Brown was forced to make a sharp exit. Follow the podium. Follow the family photocall. Follow the limos heading to the palace. The country was in limbo without even an unelected prime minister. Where's Dave? Dunno.

It was left to a guy with a digital camera to let voters in on the secret, flashing round the world the picture of 'democracy' at work. Cameron and the Queen 'kissing hands'. Only they didn't or perhaps they did.

It's been a funny old day but then it's been a funny old election. The party with the most number of seats and the most number of votes "has a mandate to try to govern," loser Clegg assured everyone. Only two-faced two-timing Clegg was telling porkies.

Naked ambition was the name of the endgame as the cunning Mandy plan fell into place to take Brown's scalp while he was still squatting in No 10. Cleverclogs Clegg would prop up the illegitimate regime with the Dark Lord dreaming of his everlasting New Labour Project. Labour in bed with hated Liberals? No way.

In the end the Parliamentary Labour Party pulled the plug. Forced to sit on the sidelines watching the sickening spectacle of unelected Mandy, Campbell and Adonis call the shots was too much to take. Liberals too had to wake up to the reality of a party and leader rightly ridiculed and pilloried in the press.

Three long years of disastrous Brown's deceitful premiership have finally come to an end, leaving behind the festering remains of a fag-end government and economic mess.

Meanwhile the long-suffering electorate is still left in the dark after all the wheelings and dealings. Just what kind of government are they letting themselves in for? That has been a closely guarded secret.

Only after Dashing Dave had taken the keys to No 10 was the devil in the detail revealed to a waiting electorate. A Tory-led full blown coalition with LibDem cabinet seats in a binding agreement.

Eleven million people voted for Tories and their policies. Far fewer for Wonderboy Clegg and the Little Party. But voters have no idea which policies will get through the coalition net.

'Call me Dave' is now Cameron, PM with all the trapping of power, patronage, constitutional baggage and the code for the nuclear trigger. Little Nick is still tagging along.

The cunning Campbell plan for Brown to leave with dignity ended with the most undignified of exits. The public was within a whisker of being shafted by spin. But it was the people wot won it. And the people will give the new government a fighting chance.

The new boys will have to plough through the wreckage and start to sort out the chaos. The party of failure is left to lick its wounds, regroup and live to fight another day.

Calm down, dears. It's only 13 years of power and privilege down the pan. Pick yourselves up, dust yourselves off, start all over again …

Video: Bob Hoskins lip-syncs to 'Pick Yourself Up' from Dennis Potter's highly acclaimed BBC series 'Pennies From Heaven' (1978). Music from Lew Stone & His Orchestra.

Brown Down And Out

2010-05-11T16:50:00.039+01:00

New Labour is dead. Brown's brutal regime is over. The nations rejoice. The squatter is set to quit No 10, handing Dave the keys. VICTORI SPOLIA

"Gordon Brown is set to resign tonight and allow David Cameron to be Britain's new Prime Minister," splashes the London Evening Standard.

The Orange Party has waited a long time for this and will relish every minute.

Three long years of disastrous Brown's deceitful premiership are finally coming to an end, leaving behind the festering remains of the failed New Labour project.

The nations can breath a sigh of relief as the new boys in town plough through the wreckage and start to sort out the chaos.

The Orange Party doesn't believe for one minute two-timing Clegg switched sides again out of a sense of moral or noble purpose.

In the end the decent folk in the Parliamentary Labour Party (PLP) pulled the plug, preferring to regroup and reinvigorate in opposition rather than be part of the devious Mandy New Labour plan for an illegitimate regime.

The tipping point came as the PLP was forced to sit on the sidelines while unelected Mandy, Campbell and Adonis called the shots. The sickening spectacle was too much to stomach.

Liberal grandees too could see the dangers. Windbag Clegg's earlier bleatings about unelected politicians, mandates to govern and promises of a 'new politics' from the "tired old twosome" had a hollow ring. The party was facing the wrath and ridicule of the electorate.

Left in the dark during all the wheelings and dealings, the electorate has yet to be given a glimse of the hammered out Con-Lib deal. But a full-blown coalition with LibDem cabinet seats is on the cards in a binding agreement.

What is certain is that after the ritual 'kissing of hands' at the palace, Dave gets the keys to number 10. A period of 'liberal conservatism' begins.

Cameron then becomes the incumbent prime minister with all the trapping of power, patronage, constitutional baggage.

The cunning Campbell plan for Brown to leave with some dignity is ending with the most undignified of exits. A decent Labour Party could now rise from the ashes.

Borrowing Brown's cooked books will be opened up and the new team can make a start on getting the country out of the mess.

It's been a long uphill struggle and at times looked as if the public was going to be shafted by the spin. In the end it's the people wot won it - with more than a little help from the PLP.

Oh, You Nasty Man

2010-05-11T11:46:00.013+01:00

It's decision day in Nasty Nick's dodgy world of deceit. Waiting for white smoke, the Orange Party will while away the hours with naughty but nice Alice Faye. Oh, You Nasty Man.

Scandals, they're everywhere. They're in the air and who put them there. You, you and you, you nasty man ...

Scandals, you hid them once, you had your fun with another one. Don't say it isn't fair, a gal like me ought to know ...

Oh, you nasty man, taking your love on the easy plan
Here and there and where you can, oh, you nasty man

You're not fooling me, I've got you figured from A to Z
But you're darned good company, oh, you big bad man

You're sweet and nasty, I know what's on your mind
You'll pull a fasty, make me fizzle and then you chisel

Oh, you nasty man, I never met anyone who can
Be as bad or better than - you, you nasty
Who taught you that
Oh, you nasty, don't ever do that
Oh, you nasty man

Video: 'Oh, You Nasty Man'. Alice Faye's movie break in George White's Scandals. A very risque performance from 1934 - before US censors pulled the plug.

Will Mandy Get To Play Dorothy?

2010-05-11T09:37:00.035+01:00

D-Day for Nasty Nick's Little Party or Little Nick's Nasty Party. Whatever. Somewhere over the rainbow alliance, the yellow party brick road lead to the La-La-Land of Oz. Common sense and reality is starting to kick in. But a phoney-baloney Wizard is still pulling the strings. Will Mandy get to play Dorothy?

Yesterday was a dark day for democracy and the parliamentary process. A disgusting day for the electorate. Today it's 'make your mind up time' in the shabby little game of Deal or No Deal.

Beaten Brown's stomach-turning performance outside No 10 was nothing compared to the treachery of a two-bit politician drunk with power bent on propping up an illegitimate regime for his own selfish ends.

Opportunistic and rotten to the core, two-faced two-timing Clegg has displayed the political maturity and integrity of a dead rat.

Unelected Mandy's masterplan for an everlasting New Labour project is nearing completion. The pieces of the jigsaw are finally being put in place.

Squatter Brown's head is to be served up on a plate. Little Nick props up the party of failure until Mandy has a chance to instal his Bananaboy Miliband as the next unelected prime minister.

What a tangled web of deceit they weave. Two losers stitching up squalid deals behind the backs of the voters.

The unelected Dark Lord is so obsessed with his pet project, parliament and the people are a minor irritant to the pursuit of power.

And to cap it all, another unelected prime minister is waiting in the wings to take over where the other deadbeat left off.

Meanwhile Cleverclogs Clegg is playing kingmaker on Fantasy Island with a fairytale rainbow alliance while the country goes down the pan.

The Orange Party can see a glimmer of hope on the horizon. Some seasoned Labour Party politicians have come out to condemn the whole shabby charade. John Reid, David Blunkett and Tom Harris.

The Parliamentary Labour Party is starting to put its foot down. On so many counts this is wrong. This is bad. This cannot work. Watching unelected Mandy, Campbell and Adonis call the shots is too much to stomach.

The electorate is being held to ransom with the national interest playing second fiddle to naked political ambition. LibDems face the wrath and ridicule of the electorate.

The public was throughly pissed off with politics after the expenses scandal. The TV talent shows were billed as a chance to see the 'leaders' in a new light.

And it worked. Voters went into the polling booths invigorated, believing a new era of new politics had dawned.

The Tin Man was looking for a heart, the Straw Man a brain and the Lion courage.

But the Land of Oz exists only in the mind. The Wizard is pulling the strings.

Hopefully the fairytale will have a happy ending. The wizard isn't a wizard after all. Dorothy will go back to Kansas in a load of hot air. Leaving the Wizard of Oz exposed as a phoney-baloney snake-oil salesman.

Mandy's Stranglehold On Power

2010-05-10T18:08:00.052+01:00

Desperate New Labour cheerleaders have thrown a despicable last roll of the dice with Beaten Brown promising to quit as party leader, paving the way for the party of failure to try to seal a deal with loser Clegg and cheat the electorate with an illegitimate regime.

Cunning Brown in cahoots with his dutiful cabinet secretary and Mandy spinners have played a blinder. Cameron is sidelined in a last ditch bid by the old tuckers to try to keep the New Labour bandwagon rolling. Now two-timing Clegg's credibility and integrity is on the line in a squalid stitch-up.

The Orange Party feared Mandy's endgame to steal the election from under the nose of the electorate was coming to a head. A dream ticket of Clegg propping up an everlasting New Labour project.

Now a coalition of losers could be on the cards if Calamity Clegg shows his true yellow streak and sells himself at auction to the highest bidder. Quite mad mutually assured destruction for both parties.

Arrogant Brown had the audacity to stand outside No 10 to read from the Mandy/Campbell script to try to scupper Tory-Lib Dem talks to form a strong and stable government.

The bribe is a 'coalition' of New Labour lackeys dressed up as a 'progressive', fairytale rainbow alliance of all and sundry. Unstable and short-lived. The price, as it was always going to be, is eventually the Supreme Leader's head.

Elections? Who needs 'em. Unelected Dark Lord Mandy and unelected old tucker Campbell have been spinning away until the bitter end with unelected Adonis getting in on the act to make sure Brown quits with head held high.

Squatter Brown would cling on as unelected prime minister and party leader until a new party leader was elected in a couple of months time and another unelected prime minister takes his place. What a farce.

For days there has been a daily diet of bullshit over Brown's 'constitutional duty' to hang on to the keys of No 10. A smokescreen of New Labour lies. A shameful sham to cheat the electorate with an illegitimate regime clinging on to power.

Pretending to paint Beaten Brown as a PM just doing his 'constitutional duty' for Queen and country is a disgrace. Brown knew his days were numbered as he counted up the numbers.

His "constitutional duty" was to see Her Maj and quit, telling her it was time to send for the leader of the largest party to ask if Dave could command a majority or run with a minority government.

But the Mandy/Campbell double act had been hard at work trying to break up the fragile Tory-LibDems love-in so their beloved New Labour can keep its iron grip on power. Blackmailer Clegg has been exposed as a two-faced cheat, drunk on power, sneaking off for secret talks behind the Tories back.

Voters had sent a clear signal to Westminster. They want Brown and New Labour out. And Clegg's Little Party came last.

Brown and his squalid band of squatters are bent on forming a self-preservation society to cling on to power. Self-interest, not the national interest. Naked political ambition is the name of the game as Clegg could be on the brink of joining that shameful gang.

The ball is now in two-faced Clegg's court. Does he seal the deal with Dave or get into bed with his master Mandy?

A disgraceful day for the parliamentary process and democracy. A shameful day for Brown and his fag-end government. A day of deceit from Clegg. A distressing day for the electorate. A wonderful day for the Dark Lord.

Cheating Brown Tries To Steal Election

2010-05-10T14:13:00.051+01:00

Election weary voters are being force-fed a daily diet of bullshit over Beaten Brown's 'constitutional duty' to hang on to the keys of No 10. Spinners are flogging the dead horse, with a smokescreen of New Labour lies in a shameful sham to cheat the electorate with an illegitimate regime clinging on to power.

Old New Labour habits die hard. The charade to paint Beaten Brown as a PM just doing his 'constitutional duty' for Queen and country is a disgrace. Stealing the election from under the nose of the electorate is the name of the endgame.

A compliant Robinson over at the BBC has spilled the beans, "revealing" LibDems met with New Labour over the weekend to keep the ball rolling and strengthen LibDems hands in talks with Tories.

Whipping up red herrings with an obsession over electoral reform and a doomed 'rainbow alliance' of New Labour lackeys is part of the spin to try to keep the sinking New Labour ship afloat. Now fuelled by talk of a 'coalition' with yet another unelected prime minister as part of the illegitimate regime.

Voters were left dazed with the shambles of a hung election outcome pointing to a Tory mandate to govern. Deal or no deal, Dave was all set to make a measured not mad dash for No 10. The writing was on the wall way back at 10pm on Thursday as the remarkably accurate exit poll sealed the fate of the party of failure.

Brown knew his days were numbered as he counted up the numbers in the wee small hours of Friday. The minute Clegg conceded around 10am that Cameron should have first stab at government should have signalled the end.

Anyone with a shred of decency would accept the "constitutional duty" was to see Her Maj on Friday afternoon and quit, telling her it was time to send for the leader of the largest party to ask if Dave could command a majority or run with a minority government.

LibDem deals or no deals should happen with Cameron at No 10. Instead New Labour spinners, aided and abetted by Brown and a dutiful cabinet secretary, have played a blinder with both Cameron and Clegg sidelined as the old tuckers try to keep the New Labour bandwagon rolling.

Tory-LibDem talks centre on a lasting deal to bring some order to the current chaos and get through a Queen's speech and emergency budget. But the Mandy/Campbell double act is hard at work trying to scupper the fragile Tory-LibDems love-in so New Labour can keep its iron grip on power.

Three long years of disastrous Brown's deceitful premiership look set to come to an end, leaving behind the festering remains of the failed New Labour project. But the new boys in town cannot plough through the wreckage and start to sort out the chaos.

Real people just want to struggle on with their lives with a strong and stable government. A legitimate government free of corruption nonetheless. One in which the people have given the political elite a mandate to govern.

But true to form, with a country in limbo land facing economic chaos, Brown and his squatters are bent on forming a self-preservation society to cling on to power. Self-interest, not what is in the national interest.

The election belongs to the people. But the pedlars of deceit with a New Labour charade are trying to rain on Dave's parade.

Without a shred of decency, the struggling Supreme Leader is clinging on by his hard-bitten fingernails. Set to be prised out of office only for another unelected prime minister to take his place, with the Dark Lord Mandy and old tucker Campbell spinning away until the bitter end.

The public was already thoroughly disillusioned with politics after the expenses scandal. TV debates sparked a new found interest. But the rot has set in again.

Voters have been forced to sit through the sham of the well spun smokescreen of a 'constitutional arrangement' to keep an unelected prime minister in power, with puffed up Little Nick's credibility on the line, trying to call the shots.

Nailing colours to the mast and banging the drum for a particular party is part and parcel of the election but it's the people wot won it. Cut through the hung parliament hype and voters had sent a clear signal to Westminster - Brown and New Labour out.

It's the economy stupid. On that crucial issue alone the sooner the country and the money markets can be given a chance to get behind the new Tory-led government of liberal conservatism, the sooner everyone can breath a collective sign of relief.

UPDATE 3pm: Sky News is reporting Tories and LibDems have agreed the “outline” of a deal to form a new government. No white smoke or white flag but another nail in the coffin of Squatter Brown’s illegitimate claim to be a prime minister and cheating New Labour's illegitimate claim to government.

UPDATE 5pm: Brown is to quit as party leader, paving the way for New Labour to try to seal a deal with LibDems.

To The Victor The Spoils

2010-05-09T14:10:00.059+01:00

The days of New Labour are nearly over. To the victor will go the spoils. But spinners are throwing everything at a last ditch bid to salvage something from the election wreckage.

The country is in limbo land. Failed fag-enders high hopes of clinging on to power are fading fast. The fallback endgame of the struggling Supreme Leader quitting with some shred of dignity is getting closer by the hour.

But true to form, with a country facing economic chaos, Broken Brown and his squatters are more interested in forming a self-preservation society than what is in the national interest.

Eager for a picture to paint a thousand words, the Sundays splashed on three Westminster party leaders looking in different directions, depending on their media narratives. The Orange Party's take (above) seems to sum up the prevailing wind.

Voters are still faced with outgoing Beaten Brown's look of superiority clinging on by his hard-bitten fingernails. And the odd couple of a frustrated and flummoxed prime minister-in-waiting looking to a puffed-up election loser who can't believe his luck calling the shots taking centre stage with the big boys.

Meanwhile a Little Nick toy is up for sale on eBay. "You are bidding for the affections of a Spanish-speaking manufacturer and creator of kings".

But buyers beware: "Those with less than 220 seats, contact me first before bidding. Advertised due to nation of time-wasters. Please do not bid if you cannot make up your mind."

The Orange Party left for a long lie down with the outcome on the cards. Leaving all the post election party political posturing behind immediately after Nowhere man Clegg conceded Dashing Dave must be given first crack at government.

The game of poker continued with downcast Brown reading from his Mandy/Campbell script on the steps of No 10 and snookered Cameron trying to come over all statesman-like with an olive branch to the Little Party.

Even an hour is a long time in politics. But many commentators are bogged down with the detail of the process rather than the outcome. A typical New Labour legacy which is hard to shake off. Voters are being forced to suffer the pain of process and the shame of spin.

The outcome is for Brown to bite the bullet and make way for a strong and stable government to get to grips with the economic mess. A YouGov poll for the Sunday Times makes that clear.

More than two-thirds of people want Brown out of Downing Street - now. Hanging on for Tories to strike up a deal or no deal with the LibDems is not what voters want.

The Mandy Plan for a stitched-up New Labour-LibDem deal is dead in the water. The numbers don't stack up. The last roll of the dice from the doomed party of failure is to play the "progressive alliance" card from Blairite social democrats. An anti-Tory ticket. A doomed rainbow alliance of all and sundry, set to fall apart at the drop of a hat.

Such an alliance would produce a short-lived majority but not stability. Celtic nationalists will demand a high price for any such deal. The vexed 'English Question', where a nation could be held to ransom by MPs from outside England, would raise its ugly head, something the Orange Party warned of last week.

The election result was always going to be tight. With a rigged election system stacked in New Labour's favour, the Dave Party faced a mountain to climb even with Ashcroft's marginal cash.

Persuading voters who'd deserted Tories in droves to join Phoney Blair's promised land to switch back should take two general elections. But to Dave's credit he nearly did it in one, despite sticking his head in the clouds with a nebulous 'big society'.

Back in LibDem La-La-Land, a leader who took his party to election disaster should be out on his ears. Instead Windbag Clegg is puffed up by his own self-importance. There is no political advantage in getting into bed with Beaten Brown. Even with Brown out, propping up yet another unelected prime minister will seal the fate of the joker in the pack.

So it's back to the outcome. Brown is down and out clinging on without a shred of decency. The game now for the old tuckers is to engineer a dignified exit so Brown can quit with head held high. Leaving their beloved New Labour lackeys to regroup and fight another day.

The vicious Labour Party sport of tearing itself apart has already begun. A brutal battle between Mandy's Bananaboy Miliband and the Broonites Blinky Balls with Miliband the Younger and Cruddas set to bring up the rear. The decent, clear and articulate voice of what's left of the Labour Party, aka McDonnell is pointing the way to the future. The Orange Party biased? Yup.

Spinning themselves into a hole in the ground, the old gang really should get over it. The country is heading for a Tory-led period of 'liberal conservatism'. Much to the dread of both true blue Tories and the New Labour clones dressed up as social democrat LibDems.

A government of 'caring' Conservatives with a smattering of classic Liberal civil rights and civil liberties. Cameron has been laying the groundwork with his party for years. The LibDems have yet to come to terms with reality and the new politics.

In the smoke-free rooms, Clegg would do well to remember the great Liberal thinkers of old, like 17th century Hobbs and Locke, who argued that the legitimate authority of the state must be derived from the consent of the governed.

Or to put it in 21st century tabloidspeak. Deal or No Deal, Dave will make a dash for No 10. Screw this one up cleverclogs and it's Clegg on toast.

An Hour Is A Long Time In Politics

2010-05-07T12:53:00.047+01:00

Beaten Brown is holed up in the bunker. Puffed Up Clegg had the wind knocked out of his sails. Mandy's New Labour dream is disappearing down the drain. Dashing Dave is waiting in the wings. A general election on speed.

The Orange Party is still hungover with hung parliament horror. The game of political poker has begun.

Political pundits and politicians gasped in disbelief as the exit poll revealed the stark truth which had been clear before the start of the race: Cameron would win. Brown would lose. And Clegg would come nowhere.

The Orange Party has lost count the number of times a 'liberal' revival has been puffed up by the media only to fall flat on its face. Now Calamity Clegg and his clapped out crowd face winning probably less seats than they started off with. But the shameless one-trick pony did manage to puff up his personal share of the vote on the back of a single TV talent show.

Many drifted along with the well-spun media narrative but some sharp pundits had seen through the sham. The election was never about a three-horse race. The election was about the Mandy Plan for a dream ticket of an everlasting New Labour Project propped up by Wonderboy.

A plan which would see 'social democrats' who hijacked the Party finally in bed with their Clegg secret weapon, snuggling up to the 'Dems' in LibDems.

New Labour? LibDems? All "progressives" now. The stitch-up was on the cards well before the first vote was cast.

Beaten Brown seemed to be saying his goodbyes in his acceptance speech. Defeat was staring him in the face. Until the Mandy/Campbell spinners put a lid on such dangerous talk. Leaving room for one last political push.

Team Cameron has been staying schtum apart from stating the bleedin' obvious: Labour does not have a mandate to govern. But Brown, without a shred of decency, is clinging on to power until the bitter end.

The election is now a farce. Political posturing and playing by the con of 'constitutional' rules. Unelected Dark Lord Mandy still cannot stop spinning despite Clegg conceding that Cameron should be given a chance.

The struggling Supreme Leader is clinging on as 'prime minister' by his fingertips - with well-spun "constitutional continuity" - as he tries in vain to form a government. But the time to quit is approaching. All hope is lost and the odds so stacked up, a real constitutional crisis would blow up if he tries to carry on regardless.

Some kind of Con-Dem deal is the only show in town. A deal which would allow Her Maj to make that Queen's Speech on May 25 without it falling around her ears. A deal to work out an economic plan to settle the panicky money markets and make a start on rescuing bankrupt Britain from the brink of Borrowing Brown's disaster.

Cameron, winning most seats but not an overall majority, is set to state loud and clear that he can form a "strong and stable" government. For Queen and Country. In the national interest. Learnt on the playing fields of Eton. That's what Her Maj is waiting to hear. That's probably what most of her weary subjects want.

With tacit LibDem support, Tories could haggle and struggle on, using a 'confidence and supply' route pushing through an emergency budget and Queen's Speech. But soon voters could have to go through the whole election rigmarole all over again.

Some kind of Tory-Lib deal is a no-brainer. The only way to prise Bunkered Brown out of Number 10 and have a stab at Dave's 'strong and stable' government.

Calamity Clegg is left playing at being kingmaker on Fantasy Island. Mandy goes off in a sulk. An unelected prime minister and leader of a political party who cannot be trusted to be let loose anywhere near 'ordinary' people goes off to lick his tribal wounds.

"I want to be prime minister", Clegg once declared. The Orange Party is mindful of the old slogan with which mums around the land berate their children - I want never gets.

An hour is a long time in politics. Voters are on tenterhooks with an outgoing prime minister and a new prime minister-in-waiting and a total loser trying to call the shots.

Top picture: Peter Brookes, spot on again in The Times

Best Campaign Video - Ever!

2010-05-05T09:29:00.021+01:00

As Beaten Brown goes down the pan, time to take stock with probably the best campaign ad. 13 years of disaster and failure from the shamed New Labour Project rolled into one powerful video.

After 13 long years New Labour has certainly run out of time, the country has run out of cash and the Orange Party, like so many disillusioned voters, has run out of patience.

The grim reminder comes in a powerful Tory attack video. A disaster movie looking back on more than a decade of the New Labour sham.

13 years of lies, deceit and spin kept going by the slick snake-oil salesmanship of Blair, sinister spin of Campbell, shifty skulduggery of Mandelson and strategic strategy of Gould, all propped up with a smattering of shifty accounting by Brown.

The Orange Party has long been running its own New Labour Hall of Shame (right side bar) to show up the sham of more than a decade of failure.

Today a Sun dossier puts New Labour in the dock. A dossier that shames New Labour on health, unemployment, crime, the economy, immigration, education, the armed forces and families.

After 13 years, voters are finally waking up to the con and given a chance to boot out the party of failure.

With luck and a fair wind, a long-suffering public won't have to be duped by any more spin and hype from the Gang of Four who hijacked the Labour Party for their own ends with Borrowing Brown brought in to cook the books.

Voters - real people - will decide whether to consign the fag-end government to the dustbin marked disaster, leaving a failed, shamed New Labour brand as a sad and embarrassing footnote in history.

Top picture: Peter Brookes, The Times

Scandal Of Rigged Postal Vote Scam

2010-05-04T18:33:00.013+01:00

The dirty little secret of a looming postal vote scam is starting to unravel even before the first vote has been officially counted. After MPs' expenses, a massive postal vote rigging scam is the next big scandal waiting to happen.

With the election outcome on an opinion poll knife-edge, voter fraud could determine the final result as evidence mounts of massive postal vote rigging.

7 million people out of 46 million have reportedly registered for postal votes for Thursday's election. Some authorities saw thousands of applications made shortly before the April 20 deadline.

Councils across the country have reported an "unprecedented" surge in the number of people registering to vote reported The Independent.

"From the south coast of England to central Scotland, local authorities are reporting increases of up to 17 percent, with a consistent trend across major cities, suburban constituencies and rural seats. The surge is apparently at its most pronounced in areas with crucial marginal seats."

Hard on the heels of the Guardian, now the Mail is reporting significant instances of postal vote rigging with police launching 50 criminal inquiries nationwide amid widespread cases of electoral rolls being packed with ‘bogus’ voters. Across 12 London boroughs alone, the Mail states that the Metropolitan Police are considering 28 claims of "major abuses".

The Sunday Times revealed how an election law loophole exposes postal votes to the danger of fraud. Election chiefs have called for political parties to be banned from handling postal vote forms as an investigation by The Times exposed major loopholes in guidelines to prevent fraud.

What galls the Orange Party and many many more is that there's nothing new about reports of voter fraud. Postal ballots are available on demand, amid widespread concerns over transparency, fraud and exploitation. The system is wide open to abuse.

There are enough dirty tricks flying around without another vote rigging scandal raising its ugly head. A scandal of a rigged election is a scandal just waiting to happen. But the electoral commission 'watchdog' still reckons everything's hunky-dory.

Back in November the Orange Party revealed how a crafty plan to push postal votes could swing the critical Glasgow NE by-election for New Labour, fuelling fears of a re-run of the alleged sham of a rigged Glenrothes 'victory'.

Glasgow NE saw a shocking number of voters registered to cast their ballot by post, more than double since the last general election.

The crucial Glenrothes by-election result surprised many political pundits who predicted an SNP win, but the Scottish Labour Party held onto the Fife seat by six thousand plus. Like many, the Orange Party smelt a rigged postal vote rat.

The move sparked concern among election watchdogs, echoing warnings of a judge after Birmingham council elections came under scrutiny way back in 2005, that postal votes are "wide open to fraud".

Suspicions over vote-rigging had been raised in the past as New Labour tends to benefit from a surge in postal votes. Now the real scandal could come in marginal seats where the postal votes could make all the difference to the election outcome.

As usual the Daily Mash calls it about right with a headline screaming: LABOUR CALLS FOR TACTICAL VOTE-RIGGING

THE Labour Party has urged its vote riggers in key marginal seats to make it look as if quite a lot of fictional people have voted Liberal Democrat. 
With polling just two days away, senior Labour figures said the postal votes of people who don't exist should be used to stop the Tories, but not in the sort of really obvious way that even a British policeman would notice.
One source said: "As we enter the jiggery-pokery stage, it is vital that fictitious Lib Dem voters use their non-existent heads instead of their imaginary hearts.
"These voters that we've made up are intelligent, sophisticated and know who would have won in their constituency if we hadn't been up all night inventing names for them."

The solution is simple. Ban postal votes except for rare exceptions. Declare general election day a public holiday. Then no-one has an excuse. As EUReferedum bloggers put it - a fraud a day keeps democracy at bay.

England Hung Out To Dry

2010-05-04T13:01:00.062+01:00

Voters in England could be sleepwalking into democratic disaster with the spectre of a hung parliament set to spark a constitutional crisis. A nation held to ransom by MPs from outside England?

The future of the nation is at stake as a badly hung parliament looms on the horizon and Westminster parties play the post-election end-game.

The election campaign kicked off with a debate on getting the country out of the economic Brown mess. Now the race has degenerated into a squabble and muddle as riders jockey for post-election position in a post-election race.

The Orange Party is fearful of the dangers and perils a hung parliament poses for democracy, triggering a constitutional crisis in England.

The current state of opinion poll play points to a Tory minority government with deals struck in a hung parliament. Such a scenario will have profound implications for the way England is governed.

The power bases of the two main Westminster parties are split between a blue 'Tory England' with urban red Labour pockets on the one hand and a 'Celtic fringe' of a Labour Party, LibDems and nationalist parties on the other. The election will change the colour of some bums on parliamentary seats but not significantly the overall colour of the geographic map.

Tories are certain to win the majority of English seats but not so elsewhere. A working majority in England but short of an overall UK majority.

The result would be an unpredictable and potentially devastating destabilisation of democracy.

A Tory-LibDem deal is possible but short-lived. Any hint of a deal over voting reform or Europe would tear Tories apart and put the Dave Party at war with true blue Tories.

Any Tory majority government looks set to rest on a deal with Ulster's Unionists. Ulster MPs who ganged up with the Tories and were the bugbear of Wilson's tiny majority government.

Clegg's social democrat "progressive" faction of the LibDems and New Labour have a lot more in common than they let on. The price of a brokered deal could be Brown's head. But a Lib-Lab alliance too would lack a majority in England.

A Lib-Lab deal would have to use its non-English MPs to help push through its programme for - England. Tories could haggle and struggle on using the 'confidence and supply' route to push through an emergency budget and Queen's Speech. After that all political hell would break loose.

Whoever is in power, a constitutional crisis is on the cards. Other parties would use their non-English MPs to veto and block policies that only apply in England.

The stage is set for a likely scenario where whatever government takes the reins they could be held to ransom by MPs from outside of England. Non-English MPs called on to govern England.

The Westminster government doubles up as a government for England. The country will face the farce of non-English MPs deciding the fate of English policy.

As the race enters the final furlong, it comes as no surprise Cameron is in Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales, making a final pitch to voters outside England to paint Tories as a UK-wide party.

But Celtic nationalist parties in Wales and Scotland will put the interests of their nations first and will fight Westminster's legitimacy to govern Scotland every step of the way. Salmond's SNP may well strike a deal or vote on each issue as it comes along but that will come at a high price for England.

A hyped-up hung parliament or a European-style coalition with rag, tag and bobtail alliances is a disaster waiting to happen.

A Tory government could be formed with little support outside England. Or a Lib-Lab coalition that depends on Scottish and Welsh MPs to govern England.

The country's salvation rests with a strong, stable government capable of taking tough decisions not the wishy washy muddle with a two-bit party calling the shots. But the election campaign has degenerated into the farce of fawning media luvvies and a Westminster elite chasing the coat-tails of Wonderboy Clegg and chasing a hung parliament rabbit down the hole of chaos.

Voters deserve a better deal when the future of the nations is at stake. To set conditions with pre-election foreplay is an insult to parliamentary democracy. But a strong government to get to grips with the pain of the economic mess is playing second fiddle to post-election posturing.

Even New Labour’s strength in the 'Celtic fringe' is a sham, distorted by the first-past-the-post electoral system which also screws the Tories. But like it or not, the country is going into the election with the current 'constitutional arrangement' rigged to New Labour's advantage.

Celtic nationalists have found an invigorated voice, not so in not-so-merry-England, brow-beaten into false Britishness.

A radical shakeup of the current voting system to make it fair alongside a shake-up of currents seats with hugely disproportionate numbers of voters is one solution. But then a naturally 'Tory England' and the 'Celtic Labour fringe' would be replaced with a federation of national parties working in a United Kingdom.

That would require a party to speak up for the English. A champion along the lines of the Welsh and Scottish nationalists parties.

The wheels of democracy turn very slowly. The Orange Party can live in hope but won't live to see that day. Until that time the 'English question' may come back to haunt a hung parliament and bite with a vengeance.

Mid pictures: Predicted results - Geographic map, The Times. Cartoon - Peter Brookes, The Times.

Weary Voters Taken For Final Spin

2010-05-02T14:05:00.077+01:00

Weary voters are being taken out for a final ride in Spin City. The Orange Party is starting to suffer from election blues - and reds and yellows. Peering through the fog an election end-game emerges.

Getting down and dirty, the final few days are turning into one almighty slagging match. But the writing is on the wall and in the opinion polls for the party of failure, clinging on to a slither of hope to save the struggling Supreme Leader from more humiliation.

Winning over the few remaining wavering voters in the New Labour marginals is the name of the end-game. But the media spin of vast swathes of undecided voters is disappearing by the day as voter intentions harden.

Brown is a dead man walking. The fag-enders are fighting for survival in a last ditch bid to prevent election wipe-out. Now everything including Blair's frail old frame is being thrown into a final push to put the brakes on LibDems splitting New Labour's vote. The politics of fear is set to take centre stage. Scares, lies, smears and spin to scare the living daylights out of voters.

The Orange Party has lost count of the number of times Guardianistas have bleated on about a Liberal revival only to fall flat on their smug faces. The TV debates and the spin-room, egged on by a compliant BBC and the dangerous sham of a European-style 'coalition' has helped New Labour keep the bandwagon rolling.

The election outcome from polls projected from a uniform national swing are useful for lazy hacks and spinners pushing a party line. The key battleground is in the marginals where such expensive polling is a rare beast.

It is the marginal trends which party polling strategists follow most closely, leading Brown to famously bottle it in 2007 and leading to more adjectival reporting from tabloid hacks. And in the marginals with Ashcroft's cash, Tories are inching ahead.

The cunning Mandy/Campbell plan to big up Clegg in the first leader's debate backfired spectacularly. A dangerous strategy as the debates dragged on and the worm started to turn, as the Orange Party warned at the time.

Brown's nasty 'bigoted woman' jibe was a game-changer but the rot had set in earlier. Bigotgate was the final nail in the coffin of a party which had spun itself into a hole of its own making. The Party had been duped by a bunch of New Labour social democrat wolves in Labour Party sheep's clothing. The 'liberals' as Brown hisses were always the enemy.

New Labour beefed up the Windbag Clegg bandwagon to spin a hung parliament. Now the Dark Lord's plan has fallen flat on its face. It became clear from that final debate that Brown was a dead duck. The beast of Cleverclogs was coming back to bite them. The Orange Party has said so often the Party had become a victim of its own obsession with post-election squabbling and wheeling and dealing.

The Party is now on the horns of a dilemma. Rules prevent seat by seat tactical voting to stop the Dave Party. Dozens of New Labour candidates would be staring certain defeat in the face.

But that doesn't prevent some sneakily suggesting a tactical vote for the LibDems may still produce that dream of a hung parliament, with the dream of a "progressive" New Labour/LibDem coalition and Mandy's dream of ultimate power pulling the strings of anointed successor, Miliband the Elder.

The price of a LibDem-New Labour stitch-up will be Brown's head. The price of a LibDem-Tory deal could be Dave's body. Tories will try to ignore the 'liberals' for as long as they can.

Anyone who thinks a government based on the number of votes cast or the biggest share of the vote, can rise out of the election ashes, is living in cloud cuckoo land. Voters elect MPs to parliament. The commons decides the government based on a numbers game.

The rank and file decent Labour party would rather eat their own flesh than seal a deal with the hated Liberals. Clegg too has a fight on his hands in a party riddled with divisions between left-wingers and wet social democrat add ons.

Tories are now set for the most votes, the most number of seats and the biggest share of the vote. But the rigged election system means without that magic majority of seats, Dave would still be on his downers in a badly hung parliament. And unelected Mandy would still be calling the shots. In Westminster it is only the number and colour of the bums on seats that matter. The current 'constitutional arrangement' is at the heart of the 'democratic' parliamentary process.

Tories hope of beating the odds with a solid working majority may rest in a likely alliance with Ulster's Unionist MPs.

The campaign has finally exposed Brown as a two-faced hypocrite and pathological liar. Clegg as a shallow charlatan. Duplicitous Dave as the best of a bad bunch.

Throughout the campaign Brown lied over the dire economic mess and immigration figures, a charge backed up by hard evidence. Clegg's potty policies are a shallow sham. Cameron talks tough but the proof is in the post-election pudding.

The country is bankrupt but has been given a respite from the money markets until post-election pain kicks in. The stakes are high with jobs on the line and spending cuts in the pipeline, as all parties suddenly discover newfound post-election honesty. Tory policies to 'cut faster deeper' are simply the best of a bad job.

Whatever the outcome, the mounting powers of an EU superstate, the hopeless Afghan war, the iron grip of Big Oil, a supermarket stranglehold, the ridiculous merry-go-round kowtowing to China is set to continue.

So too a PC world of zealots sneering at anyone who doesn't fit into their warped world, a boom turned to bust benefit culture, gross government squandering of taxpayers cash, a decimated UK manufacturing industry, a Common Purpose clan and crony culture wallowing in a sea of greenwash.

The Orange Party is a realist, cynical and sceptical. Despite a looming postal vote scandal, there's a chance to stem the tide of the decline after 13 years of failure and disaster and halt the New Labour Project in its tracks.

Freshly scrubbed Dave is set to give more polished performances until he magically morphs into Blair. Smooth-talking Clegg with his half-baked hollow policies is a walking calamity waiting to happen.

A decent Labour Party, free of the shackles of the Gang of Four's New Labour sham, is limbering up on the sidelines after licking its wounds, ready to come back refreshed. Ready for a fight with true blue Tories eager to ditch Duplicitous Dave.

The country is in with a fighting chance to salvage something from the New Labour wreckage but could end up with more of the same.

The only outcome that matters is the party with a majority of seats. Without a clear majority and that constitutional mandate to govern, the days of the Dave Party will be numbered. Voters will have to go through the whole rigmarole sooner rather than later.

The final outcome will become clear at the stroke of 10pm on Thursday. A joint exit poll from the broadcast media will declare the winner before the next episode in the drama of Spin City starts to unfold.

Blair Under Charity Watchdog Spotlight

2010-04-30T15:17:00.012+01:00

Desperate New Labour is being forced to resort to the Blair 'secret weapon' as a question mark hangs over his complex web of charities amid claims they are used to illegally to fund his political campaigning and canvass voters.

Cometh the hour - cometh the tan. Scrapping the bottom of the barrel, the discredited frail old charlatan has been wheeled out on the campaign trail, taking time out from counting his ill-gotten gains.

But all is not well with the Blair Witch Project.

The charity commission has announced an "investigation" that isn't an "investigation" into claims Blair's charities are supporting political activity, following a complaint from shadow treasury spokesman, Greg Hands.

The charity watchdog says it is considering claims that e-mail databases held by Blair's charities have been used to canvass voters.

Hands, a Tory PPC, said he had received e-mails in Blair's name urging him to vote - Labour. A Blair spokesman said the charities were "entirely separate from any political campaigning".

In a letter to Hands (click opposite to enlarge) the commission said it had "opened a case within our Assessment Unit". A statement added: "Concerns have been raised with the Charity Commission relating to the Tony Blair Governance Initiative. The commission is currently assessing these to see what role, if any, there may be for the commission in this matter."

Back on April 1, the Orange Party asked is Blair's charities illegally funding his new election campaign website using funds from his charities, which form part of his complex web of secret companies, as a cover to bang the drum for New Labour?

The complex ownership of Blair’s website TonyBlair4Labour.org is shrouded in secrecy, hidden behind sham shell companies. On the surface it seems cash from his charities are funnelled to the very company which runs his campaign website.

As the Orange Party pointed out at the time: "And that would break charity commission rules, make the move illegal once the election is called and downright dishonest if, heaven forbid, the Vicar's charities cash is channelled through off-shore tax-havens."

Tory calls for an inquiry into Blair's charities followed a Sunday Telegraph investigation with Hands who had been on the trail since before Blair left office.

The then Tory MP claims to have been receiving e-mails from "The Office of Tony Blair", using a unique email address, since December 2007, claiming they had been transferred from Downing Street to the Labour Party.

Claims that an e-mail address had been switched from Downing Street to a political party and Blair has been using his multi-million pound charities to try to help New Labour win the election is a serious accusation to make.

But booking himself in for a health check without a reality check, the jokes came thick and fast from the old snake-oil salesman, insisting at a Harrow health centre, New Labour has "every chance of succeeding" on May 6.

Today the charity watchdog was quick to point out "the issues had been raised about the charity and that they would assess these concerns but that it did not amount to an investigation."

When is an investigation not an investigation? When it happens in the final few days of a general election campaign.

The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

2010-04-30T10:00:00.018+01:00

The final debate has ended with a final showdown and a Mexican standoff from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Starring 'Brutto' Brown as 'Angel Eyes', 'Cattivo' Clegg as 'Tuco' and, er, 'Buono' Cameron as 'Blondie'. Why couldn't he be called Brian? Oh well. Lights! Cameron! Action!

Three Westminster cowboys stare at each other in the centre of the graveyard of politics. Tension mounts as they calculate post-election alliances and weigh up the dangers.

Angel Eyes 'Brutto Brown' has the hang-dog Nixon look, haunted by the curse of Duffy.

Tuco 'Cattivo Clegg' looks tired and sweaty in the studio sun. Desparate to cling on to his share of electoral gold. But in his heart he knows his shallow policies will lead him to a shallow grave.

Blondie 'Buono Cameron' is riding high. Ready for revenge with the noose of a hung parliament still fresh in his mind.

And then they draw.

Blondie shoots Angel Eyes Brown, who rolls into an own goal of an open grave.

Tuco Clegg also tries to shoot Angel Eyes. To his horror he discovers that Blondie had unloaded his gun the night before.

Blondie Dave drags Tuco Clegg to the grave marked 'Unknown'.

Tuco Clegg digs himself into a deep hole. Overjoyed to find bags of gold. Shocked when he turns to Blondie and finds himself staring at the noose.

Seeking revenge for what Tuco Clegg has done to him, Blondie forces Tuco to his grave and fixes the noose around his neck, before riding off with his share of the gold.

Tuco screams for mercy. Blondie's silhouette returns on the horizon. Aiming his rifle, a single shot severs the noose rope.

Tuco drops face-down onto his share of the gold.

Blondie Dave smiles and rides off into the sunset. Tuco Clegg has his gold but no horse on which to carry it. Cattivo Clegg curses with rage. Finito.

Footnote: In some trailers 'Angel Eyes' is referred to as The Ugly and 'Tuco' as The Bad. Depends on what was lost in translation in the spin room.

'Bigot' Brown Haunts Big Debate

2010-04-29T11:34:00.029+01:00

The struggling Supreme Leader needed a show-stopping performance for tonight's final of the TV talent show. A SuBo moment. Instead it is Rochdale lass, Gillian Duffy, who is being hailed as the new Susan Boyle.

It was supposed to be a walk in the park - quite literally - and turned into an unmitigated disaster. Now earning the shorthand 'bigotgate' and a shameful place in the history of Election 2010.

A hyped-up final TV debate of three Westminster party leaders is being overshadowed by 'Bigot' Brown, caught out calling pensioner Mrs Duffy a "bigoted woman". Rounding on a real person for daring to speak her mind. Why would anyone want to watch more hypocritical nonsense from someone who holds voters in such contempt?

Spinners have been trying hard to diss Duffy ahead of tonight's TV show. That cannot work. Mrs Duffy is as solid as a rock.

But the Orange Party is still amazed that some crawled out of the Westminster woodwork to try the old trick of dividing lines. Give it up as a bad job. Loyalties run deep in the tight-knit community of this former mill-town.

Was she outspoken? "She's from Rochdale," said one of Mrs Duffy's neighbours. "We all speak our minds around here." "She's our own Susan Boyle," said another proud neighbour.

The Orange Party has never seen such negative headlines - newspapers united in their condemnation - from the Sun through the Guardian to the FT and around the world. Only the tired old Mirror tried it on with a feeble front page, shamefully putting Brown politics before its readers.

Mike Smithson over at Politicalbetting makes a valid point: "I wonder how those 313 Labour MPs who signed Mr. Brown’s nomination papers almost exactly three years ago are feeling this morning ... Didn’t they stop to wonder then why he was so desperate to have an uncontested leadership election?"

A humiliated Brown was forced to apologise to Mrs Duffy. But did he stop there? No. Driven by his own arrogance and self-importance he went back to Mrs Duffy's home, fuelling the media frenzy.

The result? A shameful spectacle of Brown outside the poor woman's house - complete with "joker's grin" as Mrs Duffy's niece so accurately put it.

Fiction lovers will have to wait for the next instalment of Big Al's bad memoirs but the Orange Party will bet that wasn't the old tucker's idea. 'Apologise swiftly, move on quickly' is the first rule of damage limitation. Brown's return simply reinforced the sham of a two-faced hypocrite.

The Orange Party believes the fall-out is a game-changer. According to the latest pre-bigotgate opinion poll it was starting to look like a turning point for Team Brown. ComRes/ITV/ Independent has Tories on 36 per cent, Labour on 29 and the Lib Dems down to 26.

Dave was on his uppers but the Clegg bubble had burst, allowing New Labour to hold its head up high again in second place. Now the Duffy Disaster is set to wipe the floor with New Labour.

And on the eve of tonight's theatrical performance, Brown/Darling were seen as the most trusted on the economy, followed by Cameron/Osborne with Clegg/Cable a miserable third place.

Both Cameron and Clegg behaved impeccably as bigotgate unfolded. Playing it straight by saying absolutely nothing with business as usual. What will be interesting tonight is how all three party leaders react if a question on the vexed issue of immigration is allowed through the filter.

The Orange Party has been quick to launch tabloid tirades against Cocky Clegg and Dashing Dave. That's politics. But on a personal level both are driven by the politics of power, sure, but likeable people nonetheless. The same cannot be said for Brown.

What on earth does it say about an unelected prime minister and leader of a political party who cannot be trusted to get out of the Westminster bubble and let loose anywhere near 'ordinary' people?

It took a salt-of-the-earth Rochdale lass to burst the bubble. A real person, in the real world with real concerns. Tonight's TV debate will be played out with the backdrop of Mrs Duffy and everything the whole shameful episode has come to encapsulate. Anyone who thinks different is living in Two-faced Brown's La La Land.

Top picture: Peter Brookes, The Times. Tabloid compilation: Politicalbetting

Can Brown Survive His 'Bigot' Jibe?

2010-04-28T15:21:00.030+01:00

Brown's "bigoted woman" jibe is a game-changer. As the media latches on to the insult with a feeding frenzy, much depends on the spinners' damage limitation, how the media reacts and how Brown comes to terms with a nasty remark which could end his political career.

However much the spinners try to wriggle, this was an unmitigated disaster. Any trust, honesty or respect has been blown out of the window with one insulting unguarded remark.

Whatever happens between now and polling day, Brown is a broken man. Broken by the very voters he holds in so much contempt. And it took a pensioner from Rochdale to show up the sham of a two-faced hypocrite.

A ranting Brown caught out calling a salt-of-the-earth 'ordinary woman' "bigoted", forgeting his radio mic was still live as he got into his car.

A humiliated Brown head in hands with a so-called 'apology' in the full glare of the media as the insulting jibe was played back to him.

And in the middle of the media frenzy an ordinary pensioner, Rochdale lass and past Labour voter, Mrs Duffy.

A woman who was just passing by and wanted some answers to the sort of questions foremost on the minds of voters - immigration and the economy. The kind of 'policy' issues Brown is said to be so keen on, as long as it's not immigration.

A real person with real concerns clearly very upset and very annoyed at being branded a 'bigot'.

The Orange Party is sickened by the appalling attitude of Brown, the spinners and the utter contempt for voters with such cruel off-hand remarks.

It is Mrs Duffy's interview afterwards that sticks in the mind, much more than Brown's half-baked apology and the political dissection and posturing which is now bound to follow.

YouTube uploading: Liarpoliticians

Nasty Brown's "Bigoted Woman" Jibe

2010-04-28T12:54:00.054+01:00

'Meet the People' Brown has been caught out calling a pensioner a "bigoted woman", forgeting his mic was still live as he got into his car after meeting a real voter with real concerns.

A cunning plan for Bunkered Brown to put himself round a bit more, meeting ordinary folk called 'voters', has backfired, after coming unstuck insulting Rochdale voter, Gillian Duffy.

The Peoples' PM was confronted by 66-year-old Mrs Duffy while visiting Rochdale, spending nearly five minutes answering questions on immigration, crime and the economy.

Just the sort of 'policy' questions foremost on the minds of voters Brown is said to be so keen on, as long as it's not immigration.

But the still-attached Sky News radio mic picked up his words to an aide as they sped away in the Supreme Leader's limo.

"That was a disaster ...You should never have put me with that woman ... Whose idea was that?" growled Brown.

After being forced to get down and dirty on the dance floor with an Elvis impersonator, whose bright idea was it for Born-again Brown to get out and meet real people?

A disgruntled Brown went on: "It's just ridiculous." His aide then asked: "What did she say?"

Fed-up Brown replied with the jibe: "Oh, everything, she's just a sort of bigoted woman who said she used to vote Labour."

The Orange Party can't help but feel sorry for the poor aide stuck in the car with Bully-boy Brown.

But it is with Mrs Duffy, understandably very upset and very annoyed where the sympathy should lie. The Rochdale Lass used to vote Labour? Not any more.

No doubt Brown spinners will do their damnedest at damage limitation. But however much they try to wriggle this was an unmitigated disaster. Trust, honesty, respect has been blown out of the window with one unguarded insulting remark.

Whatever happens between now and polling day, Brown is a broken man. Broken by the very voter he holds in so much contempt. And it took a pensioner from Rochdale to show up the sham of a two-faced hypocrite.

UPDATE 1.54pm Brown has apologised to Mrs Duffy changing his tune saying he now doesn't think she's 'bigoted'. "He was letting off steam in the car after a difficult conversation," said the spinner. Quelle surprise.

Top screengrab: Sky News. YouTube Uploading: Liarpoliticians

Now The Kingmaker Wants To Be King

2010-04-28T09:40:00.014+01:00

Not content with trying to call the shots over who'll be prime minister, upstart Clegg has now declared himself up for the top job, flying in the face of parliament. Unsuspecting voters duped by the Clegg sham are sleepwalking into democratic disaster.

Bold as brass, joker in the pack Clegg insisted that he was "not being arrogant or presumptuous about his chances, but he had set his sights high". Yeah, sure.

And the justification for this sudden bout of prime ministerial posturing? Clegg told The Times that it was "still possible that his party could poll more votes than either the Conservatives or Labour."

Er, what part of parliamentary democracy doesn't Euro-boy understand? It's not the stacked up number of votes than count - but the number of parliamentary seats. That's how we do things over here.

The Orange Party warned in the past that Cocky Clegg was turning into Danger Mouse trying to call the shots with a party holding the balance of power without the mandate of the biggest number of seats.

European-style coalitions may suit Clegg down to a tee but the LibDem leader seems to have ignored the current tradition of parliamentary democracy.

MPs are elected to parliament and it is in that electoral college where the party with a majority of seats forms a government. It is that majority party which elects the prime minister. Kinda called the 'constitutional arrangement'. Geddit?

LibDems currently fighting to hold on to a mere 63 seats cannot hope to form a majority party. New Labour's rigged electoral advantage will see to that.

But in rides Clegg still riding high on the back of a single TV talent show debate now a wannabe PM? Is he having laugh? He wouldn't last five minutes.

In the real world of Westminster, Labour Party stalwarts look on 'Liberals' with as much distaste as they do Mandy. Tories try to ignore them. The 'libs' and the 'dems' are a motley bunch of decent left-wingers and jaded, faded social democrats ready to fight like ferrets in a sack at the drop of a hat.

As Simon Jenkins points out in the Guardian today "The truth is that a kingmaker is never a king. Once in power kings acquire leverage of their own."

The Orange Party is starting to feel a little queasy penning a political polemic: Election 2010 where did it all go wrong?

The central character is a minority Westminster party propped up by a fawning media class bending over backwards to give equal time to all three Westminster parties while excluding the Celtic nationalists. Fine if you view the world from the Westminster bubble but not if you turn the country upside down.

But as the Orange Party has pointed out before, such a move suits the Mandy dream of an everlasting New Labour project where the Broonites are kicked out and Mandy fulfils his lifelong love of foreign affairs as part of Phoney Blair's new European order backed up by Euro-boy Clegg.

Trying to call the shots, dictating who should or should not be prime minister in a badly hung parliament, is one thing - putting yourself on a pedestal up for prime minister is quite another.

Yesterday a credit rating agency damned basket-case Greece to "junk status". Fixations on a badly hung parliament and the resulting chaos is not the way to win friends and influence people in the money markets.

All three Westminster parties are being slammed for not coming clean with voters on the true extent of the swingeing spending cuts and public sector job losses on the cards whatever the outcome of the election.

Instead Clegg uses The Times to put his own personal ambition before the best interests of the country.

Heaven knows the Orange Party has done its share of Brown bashing over the years and is still twitchy over whether Dave would morph into showman Blair. But electoral reform is a vexed issue that should be dealt with after the election not used as a political posturing bargaining tool before hand.

"I want to be prime minister", declared Clegg. The Orange Party is mindful of the old slogan with which mums around the land berate their children - I want never gets.

10 Days To Save Democracy

2010-04-27T12:44:00.046+01:00

The election campaign is finally recovering after the farce of fawning media luvvies and a Westminster elite chasing the coat-tails of Wonderboy Clegg and a hung parliament rabbit down the hole of chaos.

Cameron spits out the word 'Clegg'. Brown hisses 'Liberal' between gritted teeth. Mandy sticks up for Euro-boy spinning his web of deceit as civil war breaks out in the New Labour camp.

And confused voters are left with the bizarre spectacle of smug piggy-in-the-middle Clegg leading a party in a fog, unsure of what lies beneath the surface of their telegenic Blair lookalike leader.

Voters deserve a better deal when the future of the country is at stake. Not least with looming public sector job losses and swingeing spending cuts on the horizon.

The Orange Party sensed a feeling of outrage as upstart Clegg had the bare-faced cheek to try to call the shots and dictate terms even before the votes were cast.

Coming out with outrageous comments over the weekend, refusing to "prop up" Brown in the event of a hung parliament, was an insult to voters and an insult to the democratic process.

The arrogance of the leader of a minority Westminster party, trying to dictate terms for the future prime minister rather than voters, beggared belief.

The Orange Party feared Clegg was getting too big for his boots. Holding the country to ransom before the public had been given the chance to have their say, is a dangerous pitch to make to voters.

Loyalties to both Labour and Tories won't disappear in a puff of magic Clegg smoke. At best Libdems will pick up the shaky apathy vote outside their core base.

Like it or not, the country is going into the election with a first-past-the-post voting system. Any badly hung parliament is an issue to be dealt with after the election. To set pre-conditions is an insult to parliamentary democracy.

Raising the issue before and the campaign degenerated into a muddled mess with the riders simply jockeying for position in a post-election race.

New Labour is caught between the devil and the deep red sea in a civil war between a Labour party which would never give 'liberals' house room and the Blairite social democrats who hijacked the party for their own ends who now see Two-faced Clegg as one of their own.

Mandy spin in cahoots with Campbell bigging up Clegg after the first TV debate took the heat off Brown's dismal performance. But the cunning plan backfired as the everlasting New Labour dream ticket of Blairites and Euro-boy Clegg left Broonites out in the cold.

A European-style coalition and rag, tag and bobtail alliance of jaded and faded social democrats with Mandy calling the shots with a hot line to Phoney Blair and Clegg loving every minute of it until the 'Libs' and the 'Dems' are at each other throat.

A disaster waiting to happen as Blair prop Johnson came out the traps like a shot to toe the Mandy line again on Sunday with the audacity to suggest 'power sharing' going down like a lead balloon with rank and file Labour members.

Mandy banished from the spin room for the second debate saw 'I agree with Nick', turn to 'Get real Nick'. Boogie Brown forced to get down with some dirty dancing on the dance floor with an Elvis impersonator was a nasty parting shot.

But some in the media are lovin' it. The Orange Party can almost taste the drools of excitement "Oooh, a hung parliament. How exciting". Almost the same warped gloating glee which saw the sickening spectacle of a foreign office official, Anjoum Noorani, take the mickey out of the Pope's visit.

Brown is right to try to steer the election back towards policy, backed up today by side-kick Balls. Both are fighting for their political survival and with policy comes pitfalls but it should be policy not the process of the election which decides the future direction of the country.

But banging on about the process suits the LimpDems and their sycophants. Put the wishy washy LibDem policies under scrutiny and they fall apart at the seams.

Demanding policy not process or personality brings problems for all parties. Today the Robinson, Boulton and Neil trio were left high and dry by Mandy, Balls and Cooper over how to cut the deficit.

Clear water is finally beginning to emerge between the two main Westminister parties on so many issues not least how to tackle the economic mess and immigration. Mandy has been put back in his box and forced to eat his Cleggy words.

The country's salvation rests with a strong majority government - whether that be a sea of blue or red - capable of taking tough decisions, not the wishy washy muddle of a two-bit party calling the shots.

A bit of honesty from all political parties over the massive scale of the impending cuts wouldn't go amiss.

But undecided voters have enough on their plate deciding which side of the political fence to come down on without having the waters muddied by Mandy spin and Cleverclogs Clegg and his half-baked potty policies.

Elvis Meets PM Impersonator

2010-04-24T16:44:00.036+01:00

Teddy Bear Brown has revealed his Good Luck Charm in an election stunt at the Heartbreak Hotel. But Hound Dog Brown will be Lonesome Tonight, Poor Boy. The Orange Party is All Shook Up.

You can't keep the old tucker down. Big Al has been spinning and bigging this one up all day. Elvis is alive and well and living In The Ghetto of New Labour.

It's Now or Never as Bunkered Brown is let out of the box to fight the yellow peril and the Blue Suede Shoes. A last ditch plea to Love Me Tender. Mandy spin is Always On My Mind.

The result? Two dead men walking. Sky News is having a field day with the 'King of Election Stunts'. A gift for the tabloids and headline writers perhaps. But strange. Very strange. Return To Sender.

Brown Let Loose As Mandy Plan Backfires

2010-04-24T13:12:00.064+01:00

The struggling Supreme Leader is to put himself round a bit more as the penny finally drops for the party of failure. Mandy spin was so last week. Now flagging New Labour is being forced to get to grips with the yellow peril threatening to split the dinosaur party as the fag-enders face extinction.

Election fever isn't gripping the nations but election spin is in overdrive. But the current frantic spinning around isn't about the future of one hit wonder Clegg but a civil war battle in the Labour Party between the Broonites and Mandy's Blairite dream of an ever-lasting New Labour project.

Out with the old "I agree with Nick". In with "Get real Nick", as Mandy is banished from the debate spin-room and Boogie Brown goes "up tempo" to pick up a few straggling voters. The change of tack reveals the change in strategy as New Labour jockeys for position in what was always a two horse race.

Talk of 'a three horse race', whipped up by the likes of the BBC's Robinson in an outrageous post-debate post, was a nonstarter. Even in the wildest dreams of naive fools, New Labour's rigged electoral advantage means the LibDems, with 63 seats, could never pull off mission impossible.

After being happy to go along with the hype of La-La Land, harsh reality is kicking in. The old Labour guard in the shape of Two Pies Prescott has waddled in bellowing the bleedin' obvious - this is a two-horse race. A fight to the death with the Tories.

Even the Guardian's Polly Tonybee has seen the light of day, urging Guardianista's to vote with their head not with their hearts - and give themselves a headache. Vote for Gordon, not Nick to stop Dave getting in.

The Orange Party had noted before how the election strategy was for Bunkered Brown to be let out of the box for special occasions. Sham, stage-managed set-pieces for TV News bulletins where real people played second fiddle to soundbites.

But Brown had been left grinning while Mandy was spinning his own web of post-election deceit, pinning his hopes on a New Labour dream. Clegg had been Mandy's secret weapon to push a hung parliament, giving Brown the boot and the Labour Party the elbow. The classic Campbell and mischievous Mandy double act had been working a treat.

Clegg was a pawn to be played in post-election posturing. Spin the hung parliament narrative with the dream ticket of a flabby Libby-Labby pact, where Labour tribalist Brown would be cast off like an old boot.

A European-style coalition would leavie Mandy pulling the strings with a Boney Blair dream of a New Labour order backed up by Euro-boy Clegg.

Banana-boy Miliband would be handed the PM reigns. Unelected Mandy at home with foreign affairs and his lifelong ambition to hold a great office of state. Calling the shots with a hot-line to Phoney Blair.

Now Mandy has gone rather quiet on the spinning front since declaring Wonderboy Clegg a figure "to be taken seriously", paving the way for son of New Labour.

The Orange Party has warned before The Mandy Plan was a risky election strategy. Lurking behind the scenes in the original gang of four of Blair, Campbell and Mandy is sharp pollster Gould, fearing a wipe-out. A wipe-out which now leaves New Labour pinning all hope on a repackaged touchy-feely Brown.

Only a seismic wave of hype is keeping Little Nick with his novelty act bouncing along on the Cleggmania bandwagon. Calamity Clegg bigged up to take the heat off Liability Brown was a recipe for disaster.

The joker in the pack is being been unmasked as a one-trick pony propped up by Saint Vince's slipping halo and Mandy's plan for ever-lasting New Labour. Craftily reborn as a sham rebel with a cause, up against the establishment. Clegg is part of the Westminster elite. A class act shamelessly exploiting the public mood.

'Labour' in bed with sworn enemies the 'Liberals' was never on the cards. But LibDems having a romp with New Labour is a different, dangerous kettle of fish. Another New Labour sandwich of all style and no substance.

Now the cunning plan could backfire as confused voters dump the lamentable leader and discredited LibDems, leaving both parties down in the dumps and down in the polls.

And as the race enters the final furlong, strategists believe that would leave the Dave Party set for imperial glory - victori spolia. To the victor of course go the spoils.

Top picture: Private Eye. Bottom picture: Peter Brookes, The Times.

Bleak Week Ends With Weak Growth

2010-04-23T12:16:00.038+01:00

Borrowing Brown's prayers for an economic election growth miracle were dealt a bitter blow today with weak GDP figures showing a busted economy struggling to beat recession depression blues. The financial storm of a Greek tragedy is waiting in the wings on the back of today's dire debt warning from basket-case Greece.

The last roll of the election dice was bad news for spinners hoping for some crumb of comfort from today's ONS figures after a week of dismal news on the economic front.

Soaring unemployment rising to record 2.5m highs. Inflation rate rises hitting 3.4% and hitting the pocket. The dire economy "to stay in the doldrums". A country down at the heels and down in the dumps.

Now the bogeyman of GDP growth for the first quarter of 2010 struggled to reach an anaemic 0.2 percent. A bitter blow for a bleak Brown world in the final fortnight of the election race.

But the UK economy continued to "recover" from recession in the first three months of the year, according to some in La-La Land. Er, GDP grew by a piddling 0.2% between January and March, according to ONS figures out today. Weaker than the 0.4% growth predicted by some economic gurus. The figures may be revised - but not until after election day.

Roughly translated that means voters can kiss goodbye to any good times and kiss goodbye to hopes on the jobs front - with public sector cutbacks on the cards from whichever party struggles to hold the reigns of power.

Voters have a right to hear something from the illustrious leaders and wannabe chancellors about how they would tackle unemployment, price rises, the debt burden and the economic mess.

Instead honest reality checks are playing second fiddle to political positioning for post-election power as the parties trade blows with set-piece arguments.

Joker in the pack, Clegg, cannot now rely even on Saint Vince with his slipped halo to save the day. Honest Osborne is busy pulling election strings and Dreadful Darling has already packed his bags with a one way ticket out of the Treasury.

A weary and increasingly nervous public and twitchy money markets will have to wait a fortnight for an economic miracle or the chaos of a badly hung parliament.

The Orange Party has noted before with disbelief how projected fantasy 'growth' fixes the economic policies of the party of failure as an excuse for ducking out of cutting the deficit and dealing with a mountain of debt.

Brown spin with fantasy growth is a deceitful dodge. Without that mysterious 'growth' spin, the Brown sauce economy grinds to a halt.

Any bounce from last night's sham 'leaders' debate has brought the struggling Supreme Leader back down to earth with a miserable end to the week and more miserable news on the economic front.

Today bust basket-case Greece had to plead with a begging bowl for an EU/IMF debt bail-out to help pull the economy out of its mess. Credit rating agency Moody's cut its rating on Greek debt, hard on the heels of figures which showed a budget deficit of 13.6% of GDP.

Is the UK heading for a Greek tragedy? The wretched economy isn't so different but voters will have to wait another fortnight before harsh reality kicks in.

Dashing Dave, Great Gordon, Naff Nick

2010-04-22T23:39:00.048+01:00

"Get real Nick," blasted Brown and for once Cameron agreed. A week is a long time in politics and what a difference a week makes. Naff Nick's nag stumbled and fumbled along, Great Gordon had been taken out of the knackers yard for a final spirited sprint and Dashing Dave took it all in his stride.

Bumbling his way through the second TV 'leaders' debate, Clegg made a mockery of the debate title, managed to make Gordon look good and make Dave's day.

But the old tuckers were working the crowds in a crowded spin room trying to brow beat the media munchkins to big it up for their man.

Voters, viewers? The debate was on Sky, so viewers would have to miss Corrie to watch it all. Much wlll depend on the reams of reaction which is bound to be spewed out as reports on the debate on the debate rumble on from a Big Media which has already made up its mind.

The Orange Party was watching a different debate from last week but a debate which still saw three Westminster parties slog it out in what appeared at times like a cosy stitch-up.

The clash was supposed to focus on foreign affairs but the major battlegrounds of Afghanistan, Trident and Europe were brushed under the carpet and given only a scant outing as the Celtic nationalists and single issue parties were left out in the cold.

Ex-eurocrat Clegg predictably backed the EU superstate. All three backed keeping troops fighting a hopeless Afghan war. Scrap Trident? Er, nope. Not even Nick.

But gone was the Mandy manipulated Gordon "I agree with Nick" slapstick comedy routine and in came a revitalised Labour tribalist telling that 'Liberal' Clegg to get real. Dave's agreement brought a laugh from the audience, now aired in this second debate. Brown was on a roll and lovin' it.

Dave was comfortable at home with foreign affairs in a foreign office sort of way. Defence of the realm, the national interest comes first - the rest is the way of the world. Back home on the playing fields of Eton, sounding and looking every inch the statesman.

Foreign affairs was never Gordon's strong point - more used to being stuck at home in the kitchen cooking the books. But managing to sound convincing resorting to well-rehearsed rhetoric trotted out from a script.

An 'off the cuff' pre-planned put down line to the two other "bickering" party 'leaders' read out from a pre-written script stuck out like a sore thumb.

Clegg and his novelty act always had a lot to live up to with all the Cleggmania and media hype but then so did Dave in the first round. The difference is what marks out a leader and Clegg fell flat on his face.

The knives were out for Clegg with his dodgy dealings and shameless past splashed across the tabloids and the Telegraph. But a question from Sky's Adam Boulton aimed to put the party leader on the spot was dealt with poorly by Clegg with an arrogant slap down, exposing the off-hand manner of a smug two-bit politician.

Cutaways and reaction shots from the audience meant to liven up the second debate became a dangerous toy to be played with in the gallery. A cutaway to a sweet young thing smiling sweetly and nodding at Clegg reeked of biased editing.

Lessons had been learnt. Clegg tried to sound tough on immigration but fell at the first fence over an amnesty. Round one saw Clegg put himself up as Mr Clean. It was left to Dave to deliver the put down - no-one should be put themselves on a pedestal, not least Clegg.

The stakes had been high. The little fish in a big pond had been bigged up to take the heat off dismal Brown's first debate disaster. The question now is would voters trust Clegg to call the shots holding the balance of power? Is this unknown who has shot to stardom really prime ministerial material?

Overall, the limp LibDem leader turned in a lacklustre performance putting the brakes on the Clegg bandwagon. Tired Brown came alive at times and can expect to turn into Bouncy Brown. Calm Cameron turned in the kind of prime ministerial performance that could begin to turn things round for him. All in a tabloid sort of way.

But then the winners and losers of the second debate were always going to be fought over on the broadcast news bulletins and above the fold on newspaper front pages - not from voters watching the TV talent show.

Clegg Attack!

2010-04-22T10:05:00.047+01:00

The knives are out for Two-faced Clegg and his potty party as the windbag leader of the little party for little people limbers up for a limp performance in tonight's TV debate. Adjectival reporting which suits the style of a blistering Clegg Attack in today's tabloids. Down and dirty politics in the raw but something to liven up a boring election campaign.

The Orange Party reckons it was about time for some SAS-style politics. If you are under fire - go on the attack with guns blazing - don't bury yourself in a safe-hole.

Smug Clegg put himself on the pedestal, the public didn't do that for him. They were taken in by all the Big Media hype of Little Nick's talent show.

And the media played its part in beefing up Calamity Clegg's novelty act and delivering a soap star superstar to the nations.

Now the searing sunlight of scrutiny is being shone on Wonderboy Clegg. Exactly the same relentless attacks on personality and policy both Cameron and Brown have had to face week after week after week.

The same scrutiny that has exposed Saint Vince's slipping halo revealing a waffling charlatan in the TV would-be-chancellor debate.

Now Two-faced Clegg's dodgy dealings and shameless past is starting to catch up with him. In the Mail, Express, Sun and Metro. But it is the Telegraph which knocks Clumsy Clegg off his pedestal revealing political donations paid into his private bank account in 2006, before he became leader.

Dishonest at worst, a fool at best. Whatever side of the political fence wavering voters are starting to sit on, mud sticks.

Fudge and waffle on major issues such as the economy, immigration, Trident and the EU leaves voters confused. Would voters trust this guy to call the shots holding the balance of power? Is this unknown who has shot to stardom really PM material?

The Orange Party believes this isn't about the future of the one hit wonder but Mandy's dream of an ever-lasting New Labour project.

A dream-ticket of a Clegg-Mandy alliance where Labour tribalist Brown would be kicked off a coalition like an old boot hissing 'Liberal' between gritted teeth. Paving the way for son of New Labour with Mandy and the Blairites pulling the strings and calling the shots.

The stakes are high. The little fish in a big pond was bigged up to take the heat off dismal Brown but the cunning plan could backfire as voters see through the sham and the Clegg star starts to wain.

The Mandy Plan with the chaos of a badly-hung parliament is a risky election strategy. The struggling Supreme Leader and the discredited Liberals could be left down in the dumps and down in the polls, leaving Tories to romp home - and to the victor goes the spoils.

Smug Clegg’s cynical claim of "a new honesty and decency" had a hollow ring from a leader who is part of the Westminster elite and a party which changes tack at the drop of a hat to con a few straggling voters.

Revealing "the nasty tricks of the real nasty party", Oborne in the Mail, blasts the leader of "a profoundly dishonest party that is prepared to lie, cheat and on occasion issue outrageous smears on its opponents in order to win power." Milking MPs' expenses to fund party propaganda, according to the Spectator.

Windbag Clegg always had a lot to live up to after all the Cleggmania and media hype. Now Euroboy Clegg has been shown up as a windbag politician, incapable of expressing complex arguments and issues with any clarity.

No wonder Wonderboy is falling flat on his face with "Clegg on his face", as the Sun sweetly puts it. Floundering on detail, fudging on issues and making a fool of himself and viewers who've been sucked in by the spin.

And this from Calamity Clegg who was stupid enough to leave his secret election debate plans in the back of a cab.

UPDATE 2.25pm: Mandy's cage has been rattled condemning "disgusting", "cheap and rather squalid" attacks on Clegg, accusing the 'Tory' press of "smears" and "dirty tricks". Mandy defending Clegg and the old tin-pot trouper calling kettles black. Whose side is he really on?

Tabloid round-up: Politicalbetting

Dole Queues Leave Labour Down In Dumps

2010-04-21T13:40:00.041+01:00

Dire dole queues, the economy in the doldrums and New Labour down in the polls and down in the dumps. A fitting end to a fag-end government's 13 years of failure. But a miserable end to a disastrous decade of Borrowing Brown's busted economy with a country on its last legs. Voters have a choice - someone who'll fix it or fudge it.

Unemployment rises to 2.5m. Inflation rate rises to 3.4%. The economy "to stay in the doldrums". A bitter blow for a bleak Brown world in the final fortnight of the election race.

The Orange Party has never been one to fan the flames of false optimism or mince words. The country's in a mess. Voters in not-so-merry England face a choice between Twiddledumb, Tweedledave, Tweedledem - or a silly party.

A hyped Cleggmania horse has been flogged to death. Time to return to the real world with a bump. Economic misery. The shambles of a disastrous decade topped off with dire dole queues. No wonder the fag-enders are down in the polls and down in the dumps.

Out in the real world the public puts the economy top of the polls along with immigration. But 'economy' hides a multitude of sins. Voters are worried about rising prices, hanging on to a job or getting one in the first place.

The BBC, bless, has always done its best to beat an upbeat drum but comes unstuck when the 'recovery' vehicle turns into a breakdown truck.

Top stories - unemployment increase, inflation rate rises and the economy 'to stay in the doldrums' make a mockery of 'recovery'.

The Orange Party never bought into Borrowing Brown's weak excuse blaming it all on global this and that. The economy is decided by government policies or lack of them. Whether it is over banks, regulation or UK manufacturing.

Shifting the blame is a lamentable excuse from a lamentable leader, burying heads in the sand, spinning a way out of an economy mess of his own making.

Latest unemployment figures give a "mixed" picture of the "labour market" goes the spin. Er, unemployment is the number of poor souls out of work.

The number of people lucky to have a job has fallen. Long-term unemployment has risen. The claimant count may be down but unemployment has risen to a 16 year high. By 43,000 to 2.5 million during the three months to February, according to the ONS.

The official number of people 'claiming' unemployment benefit may well have fallen but that depends on who signs on and who signs off for whatever reason.

ONS figures showed youth unemployment rising, with nearly a million 16 to 24-year-olds out of work. Unemployment among the over-50s rose to 396,000.

One fifth of the population is "economically inactive" - out of work and not seeking work - rising to a record 8.16 million, equivalent to 21.5%. Students in the main, forced into useless education courses instead of real jobs.

The Orange Party has come over all blue. The worst thing to do would be to impose New Labour's NI jobs tax, today slammed by more business bosses. All this is a week when a leading forecaster warned the immediate prospects for the UK were "dismal". The economy will remain "stuck in the doldrums" this year with a tiny 2010 predicted growth of 1%.

The ugly side of printing funny money is beginning to show with the CPI inflation rate favoured by government rising sharply to 3.4%. And RPI inflation, which includes housing costs, also rising sharply to 4.4%.

The cock-eyed way of living in La-La land on borrowed money and borrowed time will be brought into sharp focus to round off the week.

Public finance figures tomorrow will show the extent of Borrowing Brown's binge. The bogeyman of crucial GDP growth figures out for Q1 on Friday is set to be spun as election 'good news' with rigged recovery.

The sham of spinning a deficit leaving a mountain of debt behind is a deceitful Darling debt dodge. Brown spin over debt and deficit, with rigged 'GDP' and fantasy growth is a deceitful way to run the economy.

Economic mumbo jumbo, fiddled figures and fudge. What is clear is that a whole raft of appalling figures on New Labour's watch blow out of the water any chance of a jobs recovery, with public sector cuts looming whoever holds the reigns of power.

The choice boils down to who voters trust to fix the economic mess or are happy to leave to fudge it.

Bottom graphic: Spectator

Will Voters See Through Clegg Sham?

2010-04-20T11:38:00.045+01:00

Searing sunlight of scrutiny is now shining on Windbag Clegg and his potty party. Brown is left grinning, while Mandy is spinning his hopes of a New Labour dream.

The wind is being knocked out of Cleverclogs Clegg's sails. Mr Popular and his one hit wonder is being unmasked as a one-trick pony propped up by Saint Vince's slipping halo and Mandy's plan for ever-lasting New Labour.

Election weary voters are frustrated, angry and bored. A seismic wave of hype keeping the Cleggmania bandwagon bouncing along may be on the wain. But Mandy's lifetime's work on the Blair Witch project could still come to fruition.

The Orange Party noted during that debate how Cocky Clegg, "slouching with hands in pockets", got up the nose of viewers. Now privileged public schoolboy Clegg is today's splash in the Torygraph, with something of the young Blair about him.

Calamity Clegg's only claim to fame is to ride high on the back of the public's disgust with politics in the wake of the MPs' expenses scandal. But Smug Clegg's claims to offer an 'alternative" to the old Westminster politics is a sham, bunging in dodgy expenses claims and airbrushing an EU lobby firm out of his CV.

The Orange Party has pointed out so often - Clegg is part of the Westminster class. A class act shamelessly exploiting the public mood. But not a class apart.

Schoolboy Clegg rang a Phoney Blair bell. LibDems opted for a Blair lookalike without Iraq baggage in the days when Blair was still flavoursome. Mandy and Campbell gave Clegg a back-handed compliment of Clegg 'style' over Brown 'substance', fanning the flames of Cleggophilia to bury Brown's walking debate disaster.

All roads lead back to spin and Brown sauce. Clegg is Mandy's secret weapon. No wonder Gordon is grinning. The classic Campbell and mischievous Mandy double act worked a treat. But time for a reality check.

Cleverclogs Clegg's claim that "all my life" he had opposed the rotten nature of the Westminster system has been laid bare today by Oborne writing in the Mail in what he describes as Clegg's "audacious fib":

"Clegg is as much part of part of the old system of corrupt politics that he pretends to be apart from … In truth, Clegg is a prime specimen of the British political class who has reinvented himself as a rebel and an outsider. Nor is his party more decent and honest than other political parties, as Clegg suggests."

Little Nick with his novelty act tapped in to the public mood in a single TV talent show but the frenzy was whipped up in the spin room with the old Tuckers working the crowds. And the media went wild for the 'underdog' making a more exciting election storyline.

Now duped by Classic Campbell and Mischievous Mandy, Cleggmania is seared on a gullible public mind and the nations branded with bullshit, as Mandy pushed Clegg's boat out and an electorate was sucked in by the spin.

Nothing will shift tribal loyalties which run deep. But up for grabs are the vast swathes of wavering voters who deserted the Tories in droves for Phoney Blair's promised land. The Dave Party is pinning its hopes on winning them back along with dozens of LibDems seats.

Talk of 'a three horse race', is nonsense. LibDems, with 63 seats, cannot pull off mission impossible. New Labour's rigged electoral advantage will leave LimpDems hanging in third place.

Tories are still winning, New Labour still losing. But while the Tories natural instinct is to ignore LibDems, the warning of 'vote Clegg and get Brown' rings true.

Cameron has a fight on his hands. But with his back to the wall, nothing beats a fighter when both his and his party's survival is at stake.

Calamity Clegg could turn into Danger Mouse, holding the balance of power without the mandate of the biggest number of seats. And that would send a shiver down the spines of the money markets. But a Lib-Lab European-style coalition leaves Mandy pulling the strings with a new European order backed up by Euroboy Clegg.

The dream of the Gang of Four to highjack the Labour Party for their own social democrat ends and screw the Tories forever with a rigged voting system could finally turn to reality.

An unholy alliance between the now defunct 'Liberal' and 'Labour' parties. Two-faced Clegg is part and parcel of that New Labour project. In time Labour tribalist Brown, brought in to cook the books, would be cast off like an old boot.

The Orange Party certainly believes the current two party stranglehold of the main Westminster parties needs to be taken by the scruff off the neck and shaken to the core. If only to remove the stench of corruption from the House of Shame.

But wishy-washy LimpDems propping up failed fag-end New Labour is a recipe for disaster. Another New Labour sandwich of all style and no substance to be munched and spewed out in the fantasy world of another useless Mandy millennium dome.

UPDATES: Mandy has declared Clegg a figure "to be taken seriously", paving the way for son of New Labour. Cathy Newman's indispensable C4 FactCheck reveals Clegg's past is coming back to haunt him.

Clegg More Popular Than Jesus?

2010-04-18T14:56:00.080+01:00

"Clegg nearly as popular as Churchill", proclaims the Sunday Times. Whatever next? Clegg more popular than Jesus? Calm down dears, it's only a Cleggophilia commercial.

"Clegg nicks top spot", punned the Mail. "Clegg get the yoof vote", from the cool Observer. "Cleggmania" from the IoS - but don't mention The War. Clegg more popular than Jesus? Lennon would have had something to say about that.

Resorting to reporting opinion polls is lazy journalism. But time to issue an apology - Private Eye style.

In common with other hacks, the Orange Party may have given the impression that we entertained a low opinion of Nowhere Man Clegg, with headlines such as "Calamity Clegg a walking disaster" and "Windbag Clegg full of hot air". The Orange Party now acknowledges there was not a jot of truth in such scurrilous slurs and is happy to put the record straight.

There's something "exciting" happening in politics, declared Little Nick, making the most of his talent show bounce. And the media is lovin' it. Cocky Clegg is part of the media class loved by media luvvies. The underdog makes a more exciting election storyline.

The Orange Party gets the feeling folk following the little party for the little people with a little manifesto don't like a leader who gets too big for his boots. But LibDems opted for a telegenic Phoney Blair lookalike without the Iraq baggage or "David Cameron's stunt double" as bitter Chris Huhne put it before being beaten for the leadership.

It's election time and the yellows are happy to suck up to Wonderboy. If Smug Clegg comes unstuck come election day, expect the men in grey sandals to be round like a shot.

The love-bombing was a flash in the pan. But Calamity Clegg could turn into Danger Mouse for democracy, holding the balance of power without the mandate of the biggest number of seats. And that would send a shiver down the spines of the money markets.

The Orange Party lays the blame on the shoulders of the old Tucker Campbell, who returned to fan the flames of Cleggophilia with Clegg 'style' over Brown 'substance'. A Mandy/Campbell double act to big up Clegg, taking the heat off Boring Brown and bury his dismal debate disaster.

The media was daft enough to be duped by Classic Campbell and Mischievous Mandy and swallow the crap. Now Cleggmania is seared on a gullible public mind and the nations branded with bullshit as part of the spin.

But wishy-washy LimpDems and Windbag Clegg face a two pronged attack from Tories and New Labour. Instead of letting the Limps get away with fudge and waffle, attack lines are being slipped in here and there. Sly digs followed by a pounce on potty policies, as shell-shocked Cameroons and Broons come out fighting the yellow peril.

Posh Clegg's privileged public-school upbringing is starting to rub up the wrong way and take the shine off Smug Clegg, slouching around with hands in pockets. Tories have been handed a gift with Eurocrat Euroboy Clegg, more for an EU superstate than Boney Blair.

The real Labour Party too is not a happy bunny. The Orange Party noted yesterday how, despite the false snuggles, Brown, Labour to the core, hisses the word 'Liberal' between gritted teeth.

Stop calling us 'Liberals' snarl the, er, Liberals with Democrats glued on, sensing a sense of derision. Seemingly oblivious to the once great Liberal Party. New Labour is waking up to the fact that it is the 'Liberals' who are the real thorn in the side of the Labour Party.

Little Nick with his novelty act may have been crowned king of the show. The TV 'debate' wasn't a game changer but the debate of the debate did drone on. Any resulting hung parliament chaos would be as much the fault of a fawning media chasing a story and headlines as it would Mandy pushing the line and an electorate sucked in by the spin.

All roads lead back to spin and Brown sauce. Clegg is Mandy's secret weapon. No wonder Gordon is grinning.

Talk of 'a three horse race', is naive. Tribal loyalties run deep. LibDems, with a current 63 seats, cannot pull off mission impossible. Mixing red and yellow gives - Brown.

New Labour's in-built electoral advantage will give a Tory or New Labour seat victory with LibDems hanging in third place. Tories are still winning, New Labour still losing. Tories natural instinct is to ignore LibDems but warn: vote Clegg and get Brown.

The Sunday Times splash was either lazy journalism for a lazy Sunday or a tongue-in-the-cheek pop at all the media hype. The Orange Party suspects the Clegg bounce will be short-lived despite the hype, unless a seismic wave keeps the Clegg bandwagon rolling.

Instead of banging on supporting the opinion poll industry, the Big Media, which helped whip up Cleggmania, now owes it to voters to put the LibDems' little-known policies under the same harsh sunlight of scrutiny it has been so keen to shine on the two main Westminster parties.

Mid cartoons: Spectator. Scarfe, Sunday Times

UPDATE: Clegg bigger than Jesus? Paul Waugh found a little picture gem. See right side bar.